WTF Japan?! Most insane Japanese Movies (Part 1)

8:52:00 AMPaul

If you were to look at a written account of our inspirations/interests the Japanese have always had a hand in shaping our humor, and understanding of a culture that covets respect, humility and a sense of duty. As the balance of the world usually works out the brighter the light the darker the shadow it casts. Under the brilliant almost utopian culture that the Japanese maintain, lies a level of mentally damaging movies, tv shows, and concepts that are beyond my broad imagination. The strange thing (maybe not so strange if you are a frequent Chux Chaser) is that I love the shockingly absurd, and seek out these movies and shows on a regular basis.

Today I am going to share some of the most insane Japanese movies I have ever had the (dis)pleasure of seeing. I will warn you though, that these movies are not for everyone, and I recommend that maybe you skip checking out these movies unless you want to never be shocked by anything every again.

Today I am going to list (in no particular order) the movies that focus on over the top violence, and gore. These movies are mostly considered to be silly, with the extremes that they go to right away.

Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki

I'm not sure if I can recap the story, and do it justice. This is based off a Manga (Japanese comic book) of the same name. The Japanese LOVE their comic books violent, sexually depraved, and bizarre. This movie successfully conveys most of those ideals. 

 This happens in the year 2001, and our hero Riki is incarcerated in a privatized prison system run by corrupt businessmen. Our hero, Riki is in jail for getting revenge on the drug pushing gang members who kidnapped his girl. Everything goes normally until someone hires the massive Silly Lung to bump off Riki in the shower for 30kg of rice.

Then this happens:

The rest of the movie follows suit to about that level of insane violence when the warden (who keeps his breath fresh with mints stored in his false eye) recruits the infamous jail gang, "The Gang o Four" to take Riki out once and for all. The rest of the movie has Riki battle dozens of over the top villians in the prison with his superhuman kung fu that decapitates, dismembers, and crushes his opponents into a bloody mess.

This movie was the stepping stone of things to come with my taste of horrific Japanese movies. After seeing Riki-Oh I searched, and searched for other movies similar to this, and I was not disappointed ...

Tokyo Gore Police

Although this spurred a long drunken argument (the best kind of argument) with Ian. Tokyo Gore Police is widely considered the "Godfather of arterial spray movies", and as of this post is my favorite of all the Japanese Gore movies. 
This is another one that takes place in the "future" where the police are privatized, and it focuses on the "protagonist" Ruka who's job amongst her co-workers is to kill the savage engineers. Engineers are mutants who get transformed by a key-like tumor placed inside of them and get the ability to turn injuries into weapons. Ruka hunts them and kills them.

This movie has everything, over the top gore, a ridiculous plot, mind boggling silliness, japanese pop music, and bizzare commercials if you are looking to get into this genre (god only knows why you would) this is one you NEED to see.

Bunch of this happens: 

Mutant Girls Squad

This movie is not available until September, and I have not seen the English version so my grasp of the plot is shoddy at best. The hero is a girl who on her 16th birthday her parents were murdered for a reason I still don't know why. The girl has a secret she's been keeping from everyone is that she has an awesome mecha-claw thing that can (obviously) decapitate anyone/anything. She gets kidnapped by a clan of mutants, who are girls, who form a squad, that hate humanity. They train the girl to handle her claw correctly, and she inevitably finds out that this squad of mutant ladies are evil and want to hurt people. Perfect set up for violence. 

This movie takes the silliness to a whole new level, there are wait for it ... chainsaw ass battles, sword tits, tentacle anal invasions, people cut into every which way, brains exploding, acidic lactation, and enough blood to fill a hotel swimming pool.

Just so you don't think I'm lying:

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl

This one is another absolute "must see" if you are into this genre.It involves a female vampire who has a crush on a boy in her class, and to turn him into a vampire she offers him a truffle filled with her blood. Sounds easy right? Well, as these movies go there HAS to be an excuse for excessive hedonistic lust for violence. Vampire Girl has a rival who also likes the same boy, and her rival's father happens to be a mad scientist posting as a teacher who lives under the school practicing reanimating dead students. Between the obvious show down between the two ladies, is sprinkled in competitive wrist cutting mongoloids, hideously racist blackface, and blood propelled super villains that is really unrivaled in any movie in this genre to date.

So, so, so, so wrong ....

The Machine Girl (aka Shyness Machine Girl)

This is another tale of sweet revenge. Our heroine Ami's brother owes the Yakuza/Ninja clan some money, and the poor kid won't pay up. The Ninja Yakuza Clan comes to collect and murders her brother, and slices off Ami's arm to further drive home their point. Ami wanders into a machine shop of all places, they heal her up and build her a fully functioning machine gun arm. You can imagine after that, its all about business. In this movie you will see such innovations as the drill bra, tempura arm, human finger sushi, and a pretty amazing chainsaw battle. 
If I was to be picky this one is slightly not as good as the ones above, but not by much. I love the fact that Ian almost vomited after seeing tempura arm,

I will spare Ian from seeing Tempura Arm:

The film is about two sisters named Yoshie and Kikue who are clumsy Geisha attendants (how ugly do you have to be?!) and when the wealthy heir to a steel company notices "something special" in the two girls, he takes them to be trained as cyborg assassins. Yoshie and Kikue get sent on missions to kill innocent protesters of the steel company and Yoshie realizes that the company she works for is evil.  Kikue is not having it, and the two sisters are at odds. Yoshie gets another shot, and gets sent on a mission where her legs get blown off my a bomb, and she gets rescued by the very people she was supposed to kill. The people who rescue her are robotic experts, and fix her with all kinds of cool new gadgets to kill, and Yoshie sets out to stop her sister and the evil steel company. 

I forgot to mention buttswords?

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