forgotten treasures nostalgia

revleXionZ: Pivik Elementary '89-'90, Ian's Return

12:47:00 PMPaul

Hi everyone, we're back!  This week we feature the first of a somewhat limited edition of craziness.  The below images are ripped directly from the pages of you Pivik Elementary Yearbook from the 1989-1990 season.  The major difference is that one night 1997 or so, an angsty young Paul took the entire collected stack of an impressionable young Ian's yearbooks and proceeded to vandalize them with pictures ranging from infantile silliness to vague inside jokes to the downright inappropriate.  He would then pass the completed book back to Ian who would titter excitedly.  These really are still as funny today as they were when created, all in one sitting.  Who knows what muse from the skies struck Paul, but this would be their last recorded creative collaboration (with Paul as the writer and Ian the star) until the drunken Red Death paper plate.  In some instances, people were transformed through artistic magic into Ian and other times, most times, Ian was simply added to situations, elevating the the experience of scholastic doldrums in the ecstacy of religious conundrums.--cXnX mGmX

Some of the scans might be a little unclear, so beneath each one, we'll recap the quotes:

Frame 1a: Ian is on top of the bus shouting "I'm here people."

Frame 1b: "As Ian trys to push over the bus singlehandedly."

Ian: Am I the only one who felt at the time as well as now that the idea of hugging students was unsettling?

Frame 2a: "...except when Ian gets violent."  Ian is unwisely cast as the library clerk, promptly poking one child in the eye as the other, presumably a transfer from Catholic school exclaims dully, "Oh my God" at the blood dribbling from the first child's mouth.

Frame 2b:  "Ian knows."  Ian points at the rabbit (?)  girl and shouts "She does!!"

Frame 3a:  "and Ian distracts the class as he claims he's on fire."  Ian: "I'm on fire!!!"; Obscured Teacher: "Sit Down Ian"

Frame 3b: "...for Ian"  Ian: "Did someone say food? I love food!!"

Ian: I am constantly changing shape like a mythical beast.  I wonder how long the mythical me inhabited this school, because the children don't seem to fazed by my presence...

Frame 4a: "as Ian just chills..."

Frame 4b: [Ian holding sign]

Ian: Not only am I not disruptive on this page, I'm downright helpful (even though a little misleading). 

Frame 5a: "Is Ian really human?"  Ian is at the podium to impart the day's lesson written on the board, "Poop is Zany!!!"

Frame 5b: "As Ian captures children"

Ian: Am I shooting webs from my hands or am I a skilled lassooer?  I dunno...

Frame 6a: Mr. Summers' encouragement is cut short as Ian exits, giving the bird.  He pleads "Ian sit down.  Hey Ian get back here"

Frame 6b: "...not if Ian has his way."  Mrs. Matijak: " C'mon Ian"  Ian: "No!"

Ian: This mythical me is truly powerful, but also a jerk.  The band shot is one of my favorites ever, it's absolutely perfect.  Both of these actually, maybe the best page.

Frame 7a: "Hey ass wipe it's my turn"

Frame 7b:  "No Ian, not that" as Ian ROARs into a little girl's face.

Frame 7c:  "Alright kids in the hole."  The hole is in the middle of the page...

Frame 8a: Ian: "This bites."

Frame 8b:  "I am the Great Cornholio, I need..."

Frame 8c: A Young Michael Stenger: "What smells?"

Ian: For two teenagers who thought Beavis and Butthead were funny enough to deserve homage, this is surprisingly funny, just the right balance of vulgar crudity and silly nonsequitir.  More interestingly, is that I was probably thining "This bites" when I did eventually participate in the G.A.T.E. program.

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