“In Shero We Trust” is quite possibly one of my favorite phrases in all of Sports Fandom. One possible reason is because of its similarity to a high school senior telling his prom date that he loves her (or him because this is the 21st century, Jack): Sure, it may be true for now, but it may not take much to change his mind (or hers because this is the 21st century, Jane). And you never know where that imaginary line lies.
Sunday afternoon we got to see this exact theory put to the test as rumors became truths live on the twitter machine. Ray Shero and Dallas Stars’ GM Joe Nieuwendyk brokered a deal that brought Brenden Morrow and a 3rd round pick to the Steel City in exchange for Pens’ prospect Joe Morrow and a 5th round pick. Instant analysis from Pens’ fans’ twitter accounts varied drastically with some praising the move and others adopting the new - but, as of this writing, unused - “In Shero We Trust (But Only As Far As We Can Throw Him).”
There is a certain irony to this sentiment, however. An irony rooted in the subject of Economics, which is a subject I love like a fat kid loves cake.“In Shero We Trust” was derived from our currency, which many people consider the entire basis of Economics. But for those of us who have taken an Econ101 course – and stayed awake through the first two minutes – we realize that economics is more about the relationship between wants, needs, haves and have-nots. In sports, this is as true as anywhere else. GMs Shero and Nieuwendyk both understand this.
The Pens have arguably had two needs all season: grit and defensive consistency. Morrow, the longest-tenured Captain in Minnesota/Dallas franchise history brings a little of the former. He brings size. He brings a willingness to get in the dirty areas. Mostly he brings more veteran leadership, in and out of the locker room, which is an invaluable resource in today’s league. Shero is probably not done in terms of addressing the latter.
The other side of the coin involves Joe Morrow. Scouts love him. Fans love him. His mama loves him. And rightfully so. He’s got a great skill-set. He’s got a decent frame for a young defenseman. His upside is undeniable. You don’t get chosen first in the draft by a team without that upside.
That said, a few years ago, a trend started that heavily affected the movement of the young defenseman. In today’s NHL, many of the stars of the game are signed to long-term deals, making free agency effectively a seller’s market. This year, the Pens are buyers. Ray Shero summed this up nicely, saying “I don’t set the prices. The selling team does.”
It was hard for Nieuwendyk to part with Morrow. Of that I am certain. We always expect GMs to say that in a trade announcement presser, but the guy was captain for nearly 7 years, having taken over that role from future Hall of Famer Mike Modano. Lip service no longer applies.
I’m equally certain that a stall in the Stars’ locker room will be left open for the captain’s possible return right around July 1st. It is being reported that Nieuwendyk stated that naming a new captain is not something he feels is necessary at this point, fueling that speculation.
What I’m not so sure about is whether – IF he were to return to the Big D – Brenden Morrow would have to add a “B” to his name plate to distinguish himself from the youngster. Nor am I certain that Joe Morrow will even make an NHL roster. Too many “stars” have missed their opportunity for far too many reasons.
The reality is that Dallas set their price. Ray Shero weighed his needs against his wants, his haves against his have-nots. And then agreed to the deal.
Ladies and gentlemen, ECONOMICS!!!!
UPDATE: After this article was written, the Pens traded for veteran defenseman Douglass Murray of the San Jose Sharks. The cost was a 2nd round pick in 2013 and a conditional 2014 pick. Incidentally, this deal was likely made possible through the acquisition of the Stars’ 3rd round pick in the Morrow for Morrow trade. The lesson in that is that the body of work is what counts more than one individual maneuver. In Shero We Trust.
Some time ago--around the time Construx Nunchux was born, in fact--Paul wrote this: (<----CLICK!)
Since then, two and a half years have elapsed, or collapsed, and time has done laps around us while we lap up laughs. A lot has happened that's never even made it into this blog; hurdles and distractions, obstacles and promises. Instead of losing interest in the site, we've only persisted and grown consistently.
Of the content that has made it in, and of what this blog has inspired, very little gets noticed. I used to get discontented by that fact ("Lobster Lobby only got thirteen hits today?!?!"), but I often console myself with the knowledge that this site is primarily for our future selves, maybe even our present selves.
If you've stayed with me so far, I'm just getting started, so hang on. Gotta go pee or grab a sandwich? Do it now.
Recent events (those hurdles and so forth...) have manipulated my thinking and allowed me to fall into a constant cycle of disapproval and nearly psychotic vindictiveness. I wanted to take today's blog opportunity to belatedly respond to Paul's initial inspirational post with some thoughts on lessons we all should have been learning all along. In a sense, I want to say, I'm aiming at getting back to where we belong, but in truth, it's somewhere we've never really been.
As with every post we create, this is pretty much for us, but if you stay with me, and happen to take something home from this, something you can stuff in your pocket and forget about for a while then pull out unwittingly while searching for a napkin or your keys, and be all excited that you found it like when you find a ten dollar bill while searching in your pockets for your keys or a napkin or something because you had stuffed that ten dollar bill in your pocket without realizing it, like maybe you were drunk or something, or like when you find $300 in a Travel Scrabble box and you yip with surprise because you had forgotten that you were putting your tips in there for a while and had apparently made so much money that an amount as significant as three hundo could slip by, unnoticed, sorta like our blog posts, until one day where you recall vaguely that you had some amount of money and needed it to impress a girl you just met who would go on to rearrange your furniture one night while you were out and then date you for a while and then have a nasty break up with you but you didn't know that part of it yet and were really excited because you found her attractive but had no money until you opened Travel Scrabble thinking you'd find maybe 80 or 100 but instead you find three or three fifty and you can take her out and get her drunk and when the bartender hands you your change from your final round you just stuff it in your pocket and forget about it for a few days until one day with the same girl in tow you come home from work and you can't recall where you placed your keys and while rummaging around searching for the keys or maybe for a napkin or something you find that forgotten money that you had stuffed in your pocket the other night, that date night with that chick who told you she didn't like you because you didn't kiss like a man but for some reason you both thought it sound to continue seeing each other for something like two and a half years, which was also the amount of time that would pass between founding a goofy website with your brother and you recounting those selfsame events but in a codified manner and that all wouldn't even begin for another five years and you had nothing to write about, at least nothing important, at least nothing about that girl because really, nothing had happened yet, and you had no clue what the next two years would hold for you, but even though it seemed for the most part like a waste in self-congratulatory hindsight, you still took something away from the relationship, you learned some practical things and had some nice memories that no one can really take away from you, if you can also take away something from what I'm about to write then we're golden. Daedalus.
Still with me? Great. Let's get started here.
Why do we get so frustrated about our positions in life? Why do we insist on suffering?
We can insist we were cheated, or we can realize that we still possess a great deal at any given moment.
We can hide behind blame, but no one can force us to feel bad. No one can force us to do wrong.
Likewise, no one can stop us from feeling happy if we want to.
There is no amount of good that you can do in this world that it will ever owe you for in return. The good we do is for ourselves. But it is, indeed, good.
There is no force on this world that can prevent us from our preferred perception of our environment and events that lead us where we are. It's just a bunch of stuff that happens.
There are people who will put great effort in trying to make you miserable, who have convinced themselves they hold that power over you. You can allow them that power to alter you or you can walk on, laughing.
How you feel at every, any moment is solely your responsibility.
The only way to succeed is to stop getting in our own way. Whenever we try to control how others feel or what they do or try to even the score, we get in our own way.
Insisting on fairness in this world is just veiled declaration of entitlement.
Insisting on justice is only a coded way of saying we think we're too good to struggle the same as everyone else.
Whatever happens to others doesn't affect you or concern you, unless you let it. Don't rely on helplessness.
It's very rare that people we believe to be cruel or bad have a conscience that grows or speaks to them. Not only do they get away with being "bad", not only does no one see or seem to care, but "bad" people themselves walk on, feeling justified and serviced, without regard for who they hurt.
It's common that the angriest people are the most fearful, that the ones who treat life with the least value are the most apprehensive about death, that the most violent are the most cowardly, the ones who contribute the least demand the most, the ones who demonstrate no love cry for pure adoration.
For everyone who takes, whether taking more than their share or just taking advantage, take it upon yourself to give. For every entitled demand you hear, keep that much more understanding at hand. For every complaint, voice a compliment. For every frittering, fretting threatening cretin, tether yourself with unfettered respect.
We can be the equalizers, by holding ourselves accountable and producing the goodness and love that is stolen or lost, by including and considering everyone. This is the only way we can make this world fair or even.
Legality does not constitute morality.
You can only be a villain if you allow others to think you're one and call you one.
Justice is just something we've tricked ourselves into believing exists.
We have to simply put faith in the notion that everything will work out the way we want it.
If we hold onto a cliche for long enough, if we put meaning behind it and act upon it, it can become a principle.
Life isn't fair, but we can be.
Reality rarely offers reconciliation and never resolution.
Since then, two and a half years have elapsed, or collapsed, and time has done laps around us while we lap up laughs. A lot has happened that's never even made it into this blog; hurdles and distractions, obstacles and promises. Instead of losing interest in the site, we've only persisted and grown consistently.
Of the content that has made it in, and of what this blog has inspired, very little gets noticed. I used to get discontented by that fact ("Lobster Lobby only got thirteen hits today?!?!"), but I often console myself with the knowledge that this site is primarily for our future selves, maybe even our present selves.
If you've stayed with me so far, I'm just getting started, so hang on. Gotta go pee or grab a sandwich? Do it now.
Recent events (those hurdles and so forth...) have manipulated my thinking and allowed me to fall into a constant cycle of disapproval and nearly psychotic vindictiveness. I wanted to take today's blog opportunity to belatedly respond to Paul's initial inspirational post with some thoughts on lessons we all should have been learning all along. In a sense, I want to say, I'm aiming at getting back to where we belong, but in truth, it's somewhere we've never really been.
As with every post we create, this is pretty much for us, but if you stay with me, and happen to take something home from this, something you can stuff in your pocket and forget about for a while then pull out unwittingly while searching for a napkin or your keys, and be all excited that you found it like when you find a ten dollar bill while searching in your pockets for your keys or a napkin or something because you had stuffed that ten dollar bill in your pocket without realizing it, like maybe you were drunk or something, or like when you find $300 in a Travel Scrabble box and you yip with surprise because you had forgotten that you were putting your tips in there for a while and had apparently made so much money that an amount as significant as three hundo could slip by, unnoticed, sorta like our blog posts, until one day where you recall vaguely that you had some amount of money and needed it to impress a girl you just met who would go on to rearrange your furniture one night while you were out and then date you for a while and then have a nasty break up with you but you didn't know that part of it yet and were really excited because you found her attractive but had no money until you opened Travel Scrabble thinking you'd find maybe 80 or 100 but instead you find three or three fifty and you can take her out and get her drunk and when the bartender hands you your change from your final round you just stuff it in your pocket and forget about it for a few days until one day with the same girl in tow you come home from work and you can't recall where you placed your keys and while rummaging around searching for the keys or maybe for a napkin or something you find that forgotten money that you had stuffed in your pocket the other night, that date night with that chick who told you she didn't like you because you didn't kiss like a man but for some reason you both thought it sound to continue seeing each other for something like two and a half years, which was also the amount of time that would pass between founding a goofy website with your brother and you recounting those selfsame events but in a codified manner and that all wouldn't even begin for another five years and you had nothing to write about, at least nothing important, at least nothing about that girl because really, nothing had happened yet, and you had no clue what the next two years would hold for you, but even though it seemed for the most part like a waste in self-congratulatory hindsight, you still took something away from the relationship, you learned some practical things and had some nice memories that no one can really take away from you, if you can also take away something from what I'm about to write then we're golden. Daedalus.
Still with me? Great. Let's get started here.
Why do we get so frustrated about our positions in life? Why do we insist on suffering?
We can insist we were cheated, or we can realize that we still possess a great deal at any given moment.
We can hide behind blame, but no one can force us to feel bad. No one can force us to do wrong.
Likewise, no one can stop us from feeling happy if we want to.
There is no amount of good that you can do in this world that it will ever owe you for in return. The good we do is for ourselves. But it is, indeed, good.
There is no force on this world that can prevent us from our preferred perception of our environment and events that lead us where we are. It's just a bunch of stuff that happens.
There are people who will put great effort in trying to make you miserable, who have convinced themselves they hold that power over you. You can allow them that power to alter you or you can walk on, laughing.
How you feel at every, any moment is solely your responsibility.
The only way to succeed is to stop getting in our own way. Whenever we try to control how others feel or what they do or try to even the score, we get in our own way.
Insisting on fairness in this world is just veiled declaration of entitlement.
Insisting on justice is only a coded way of saying we think we're too good to struggle the same as everyone else.
Whatever happens to others doesn't affect you or concern you, unless you let it. Don't rely on helplessness.
It's very rare that people we believe to be cruel or bad have a conscience that grows or speaks to them. Not only do they get away with being "bad", not only does no one see or seem to care, but "bad" people themselves walk on, feeling justified and serviced, without regard for who they hurt.
It's common that the angriest people are the most fearful, that the ones who treat life with the least value are the most apprehensive about death, that the most violent are the most cowardly, the ones who contribute the least demand the most, the ones who demonstrate no love cry for pure adoration.
For everyone who takes, whether taking more than their share or just taking advantage, take it upon yourself to give. For every entitled demand you hear, keep that much more understanding at hand. For every complaint, voice a compliment. For every frittering, fretting threatening cretin, tether yourself with unfettered respect.
We can be the equalizers, by holding ourselves accountable and producing the goodness and love that is stolen or lost, by including and considering everyone. This is the only way we can make this world fair or even.
Legality does not constitute morality.
You can only be a villain if you allow others to think you're one and call you one.
Justice is just something we've tricked ourselves into believing exists.
We have to simply put faith in the notion that everything will work out the way we want it.
If we hold onto a cliche for long enough, if we put meaning behind it and act upon it, it can become a principle.
Life isn't fair, but we can be.
Reality rarely offers reconciliation and never resolution.
Seriously, watch the series!
The content herein is completely original. Any similarities to discarded journal entries found on the street in the Strip District Saturday morning are purely unintentional. Seriously, for all you know all the names and places were changed... y'know... and shit...
"...line involving how many black people there were and how passively bored everyone was. A person... walk in with a gun and no-one would glance... Anyway - a hectic week on my nerves and my pocketbook - the first time I payed for a fender bender. I had done two before but left no scratches. Actually, one lady I backed into I may have scratched but she had the pay it forward attitude--which constitutes a moral vs. benefit conversation. When someone hits me, should I let them go or pocket the money. Well... it is no logic that people are used to, morally anyway--realistically, yes--but I would take the money to take care of my negative 650. Of course, I'm putting someone else in the red. Comes all down to the equality principle and that karma idea. Anyway - I'm glad I'm not to worked up over unfortunate happenings and am happy to realize I'm coming to be a truly [bias] person.
Today is Monday. I will leave for college on Thursday morning. I got back from my camping trip with Maritza, David, Crystal and Maritza's mom and brother (Mathew). It was sa good time and I'm coming to realize my relationship with there people: I have become fairly close with Maritza as she just told me her mom got in an accident and got hurt when some drunk teens hit her on her way to pick up Maritza and Polana from my barbeque yesterday. David is an alright friend/acquaintance and he revealed how he has few friends and a crappy life because of his mother. Crystal is cool but too much of a common person. She "went out...for god knows why and took some convinceing to really realize it was over." Yesterday at the barbeque Maya (someone who's company Ihave been enjoy) and Lucy left to go to some mysterious party, but lied to me as to why they were leaving. Annoying but predictable. Sofie had to go home home because of guests but wanted to go to the party (Spencer assures me). This is my... -- is the lost morning. I will see what... was fully anticlamatic as I thought.... leaving Friday morning and he got back Thursday. Too bad the three of us shared a momeant of sitance (spontaneous) which was nice and tomorrow I will bid farewell to James and Mohammed at the beach. I should get Kevin tour. As I get closer to leaving, I start to feel a feeling, un-identifiable but regardless, a feeling... a strange and eventful journey-- into the unknown. It seems the past and future and colliding as I went through my stuff in boxes, read about Mr. D, the robotics man, and my childrens novels reminded me to have kids at some point.
"...line involving how many black people there were and how passively bored everyone was. A person... walk in with a gun and no-one would glance... Anyway - a hectic week on my nerves and my pocketbook - the first time I payed for a fender bender. I had done two before but left no scratches. Actually, one lady I backed into I may have scratched but she had the pay it forward attitude--which constitutes a moral vs. benefit conversation. When someone hits me, should I let them go or pocket the money. Well... it is no logic that people are used to, morally anyway--realistically, yes--but I would take the money to take care of my negative 650. Of course, I'm putting someone else in the red. Comes all down to the equality principle and that karma idea. Anyway - I'm glad I'm not to worked up over unfortunate happenings and am happy to realize I'm coming to be a truly [bias] person.
August 17, 2009
Today is Monday. I will leave for college on Thursday morning. I got back from my camping trip with Maritza, David, Crystal and Maritza's mom and brother (Mathew). It was sa good time and I'm coming to realize my relationship with there people: I have become fairly close with Maritza as she just told me her mom got in an accident and got hurt when some drunk teens hit her on her way to pick up Maritza and Polana from my barbeque yesterday. David is an alright friend/acquaintance and he revealed how he has few friends and a crappy life because of his mother. Crystal is cool but too much of a common person. She "went out...for god knows why and took some convinceing to really realize it was over." Yesterday at the barbeque Maya (someone who's company I
Friday, August 28th
It is 2:10 in the morning and I have just sat down after an especially intent shower, cleaning myself from an especially sensitizing bike ride through Meadville and the surrounding area at one in the morning.
...those memories that can be more important than life itself, you are here in spirit. I may not be able to play you at ping-pong or have a really good laugh with you physically, but I can always look at the basement and see you, and I can always remember something you have said and chuckle to myself. My only regret Will is that I never had a heart to heart with you and I never was able to crack your mystery and understand your pain. But maybe that's for the best. You lived, you died, and maybe somewhere along there you had a chance to fly. I know this for sure though, that as long as I live, my brothers, your uncles, your mother or your grandparents live, you will live alongside them, watching, listening, laughing, and loving. Never goodbye, just see you later. Love, your nephew cousin, Nick
January 21st, 2010
The Rip by Portishead music video charged my life. Be kind, be happy, don't ever be unexcited. Life is beautiful and amazingly the best thing ever. No life, no matter. Maybe so but life is the next bet thing (By the way I'm high) My Yoga II class today inspired me amazing heights. Prof Reedy is truly a very close to being elightened individual. Yoga is enlightening. Be kind, be happy. Communes are a beatiful concept. Work at sustainable farms and eat delicious organic foods.
January 25, 2010 1:45am
Tonight was my second forest/ravine adventure in 3 days. Actually it could be considered as the third in three days if you count last night's impromptu treck to the campsite to sleep while under the lulling influence of marijuana. It was dark with looming street lights providing a phosphorescent glow. After setting up in the snow I began to be spooked by the hundreds of strange noises filling the air, all of which Max labeled as different bird calls. I went inside the tent while Max sat in the chair last night listening. He awoke the next morning freezing as his only warmth came from the insulation of my wool blanket. He left at 9:30 an while I stayed longer until it started raining and in the freezing cold I packed up and returned to huntie Ravine. Later yesterday, as the rain continued to fall upon a monumentous overflow of water as the clogged Ravine released it's fury upon the parking lot paved over its original treck. As an act of whim I returned to the river around 12:30 am this morning and trecked up the walls of the Ravine, across a precarious log and sat myself upon a well founded rock where I engaged in brief meditation. Feeling content, at complete bliss and ease, and more connected to nature than ever before I was pulled back to the parking lot where the flooding water carried my feet to the opposite bank..."
Here is a collection of "Photoshops" that I have made over the last little while. Some of them you have seen and some you may have not.
Enjoy
The Penguins batch.
This is one I did for Hip-Hop artist @DZK
Here are a few ones I made for the site.
And some I made just to piss off friends of mine that are Leafs fans.
Enjoy
The Penguins batch.
This is one I did for Hip-Hop artist @DZK
Here are a few ones I made for the site.
And some I made just to piss off friends of mine that are Leafs fans.
You didn't miss a thing!!!
April's warm embrace comes ever closer and the snow gives away to green sprouting buds, NHL trade rumors grow ever stronger. This has become a hot topic on twitter about what to do with the NHL's leading defenseman come this summer.
Some less than knowledgeable people mentions Kris Letang's "composure" all the time. 8 PIM?. That's good for 362nd in the league!! That means 361 players are less composed than Letang. I don't know any other way to rank/rate/judge "composure". If you are not composed do you or do not not get penalized for it?
I've also heard the arguement that Letang needs to be better defensively. So does THE WHOLE TEAM. We are 21st the in the league in goals against and 1st in goals for. Letang takes the most ice time out of the entire team with 26 mins average per game. You can't put that on one person.
(all stats accurate as of 3/11/13)
 |
| Kris Letang 2050 |
Letang as of today is arguably the best value in the entire NHL making only 3.5mil a year with the Pens.
So with his contact coming to an end the question comes up, "What does Shero do with Kris Letang?"
Shero has made it clear that it is his priority to re-sign Letang and Malkin when they are available to field offers July 1st. He said the same about Crosby and Neal last year and he did just that.
(pic by PensAreYourDaddy )
The biggest objection is the money Kris will likely earn in his next deal. With Erik Karlsson making an average 6.5 cap hit with the Senators, it can be argued that he's worth that much and possibly even more. It' common knowlege that the Penguins have about 10 million worth of cap space this summer to do with what they please.
We would have to guess that FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD that Kennedy has played his last game with the Pens, which frees up 2mil. I would love for the Penguins to retain Dupuis, Adams, and Cooke who are UFA this summer. Eaton is a UFA too but I consider him a non-factor really with salary and roster space. Depending also on what Shero wants to do with RFA Bortuzzo and Jeffery which I can only assume that he would sign them for close to what they are earning now.
I'm going to make the wild assumption that Shero will have 12 million this summer to play with by letting Kennedy walk and upping the contracts of the UFA's for close to what they are earning now. This could all change come trade deadline with new players acquired and new contracts to carry.
These are the Top 10 cap hits for defensmen in the NHL. As of today Kris Letang is top in d-man scoring.
In fact he is one of the best in Points per Game in the passed 3 years.
My intention is to use those stats to determine his worth. I would have to make a guess that 7mil is reasonable doubling his previous contract with the Penguins. So with TK leaving and Letang's contact being upped 3.5 million will only take a 1.5mil bite out of out 12 million dollar toy budget this summer to leaving us 10.5 in space to keep Malkin around for a long while. Now just imagine if we hung onto Michalek, things would be a little tighter or if we snagged Parise? Malkin may have been a serious risk of leaving with that heavy Parise contract.
How ya doin', Zach?
 |
| ouch .... |
So I think we can afford him and I think the stats prove that he is one of the BEST defenseman in the NHL. So why trade him?
Some places are already trolling our fanbase with headlines like this from Yahoo! Pittsburgh Penguins Trade Rumors Begin, but Team Has Insurance for Letang in Simon Despres which only mentions Letang's departure in contingent of the Penguins trading for Blue Jacket's Jack Johnson. That whole rumor began due to Rob Rossi needing some attention and no one wanting to eat lunch with him.
 |
| No words ... |
The real person we should listen to is the Blue Jacket's GM himself Kekalainen was quoted "“It’s silly,” he said. “I went to watch a game. Ray Shero (the Penguins’ general manager) is a friend of mine.”
Some less than knowledgeable people mentions Kris Letang's "composure" all the time. 8 PIM?. That's good for 362nd in the league!! That means 361 players are less composed than Letang. I don't know any other way to rank/rate/judge "composure". If you are not composed do you or do not not get penalized for it?
Gosh Letang did this over 300 days ago? Do we still care about this? The Pens were down 3-1 and lost the game 8-4.
I've also heard the arguement that Letang needs to be better defensively. So does THE WHOLE TEAM. We are 21st the in the league in goals against and 1st in goals for. Letang takes the most ice time out of the entire team with 26 mins average per game. You can't put that on one person.
(all stats accurate as of 3/11/13)
- Time on Ice -1st
- Shots for Defenseman - 1st (7th on team)
- +/- for Defenseman -1st
- Points for Defenseman - 1st
- Blocks for Defenseman - 2nd
Tough to replace? Do we really need a winger for Sid?
I'm fully aware that the one missing piece is a stay at home nasty defenseman that will keep people out of our crease and make players pay for being in the face of Fleury but thinking that we need to trade Letang to do so is well ... ridiculous.
There is no doubt that a Letang trade will yield some of the most coveted players on any team and they probably won't care about his NHL 4th most giveaways.
This is undoubtedly my opinion but the stats don't lie. I welcome any feedback.
[Chorus]Soulja Boy Off In This HoeWatch Me Crank ItWatch Me RollWatch Me Crank Dat Soulja BoyThen Super Man Dat Hoe
____________________________________
Paul: What alot of people fail to realize about this song is that it has significant historical value. Crank Dat is an homage to Edwin James III and his historical journey driving his Model T car across America.
When the line "Souja Boy Off In This Hoe" its referencing Edwin's decision to leave the family farm behind and quench is insatiable thirst for exploration. So he cranks up his car (which was the traditional method in those days) and watches it roll down the street.
 |
| Edwin James III (above) "rolling". |
The term "super man dat hoe" was a term used back in the 20's to say that you were leaving your farming duties to capable hands while you were away. In this case he hired a young man Shamus McFinn (age 12) to handle the day to day operations of the James farm who was widely considered the most experienced help available at the time.
Ryan: This song was actually an advertisement. There is an old secret that Souja Boy came across while writing "hit" albums. This old secret is called "Dat Superman". This secret allows anyone who knows it to turn another person into a "Superman"
When I first heard about this I decided right away that I needed these powers. I contacted Mr. Souja's peeps and we made it happen.
The word "hoe" isn't supposed to sound that way. I mean it is, but not by a definition you are used to. This is actually a chant used when he is "converting" a client. Hoe is a word used for normal people. He takes the person into a special room (I am not allowed to disclose the location to hoes) where he cranks them into superman. Crank in this case means "The Superman Cry" which is basically a chant.
Ian: The subtext here is often misconstrued but quite clear. It's fairly uncommon knowledge that Mr. Tellum was a gifted student who spent a lot of his free time studying Kant, Spinoza, and most relevant for today's context, Nietzsche. While the concept of this essay over phat beats is dismissed as mere childishness, a smear campaign of sorts, the misunderstanding comes through literal misinterpretation. A student of the classics, Soulja taught himself German at a very young age. From there, not unlike Falco, he experimented with linguistic hybrids, some sort of universalized message.
So, the proper reading of the opening salvo of this metaphysical manifesto is as follows:
Soulja Boy has seen hell.
I know the devil's scheme.
It continues cyclically
I stumble through this devilish plot
A Superman in Hell.
Soulja is observing the role that the classic Nietzschean Superman plays on this earth. While he's considered beyond the traditional bonds of common man, this world for him is a menial hell on earth in which his mental fortitude and superiority will only cause him to become a consistent outcast (not these guys... that, of course, is a different post)
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Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
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Paul: They chorus was a chant the children used while watching Edwin wind up his car for a trip to the General Grocery Store. He would goad the children with "now watch me do" and the children would shriek "Crank Dat, Souja Boy!" It's literal translation is a product of the sub-par education in the area. The second reference to Soulja Boy that is used is a testament to their admiration of Edwin following his dreams.
Crank Dat!
Ryan: As the ceremony continues, he continues to chant these words. The effects and the timing are important in this song. They can be said by anyone, but when in the presence of Mr. Souja, they are powerful! They have the power to take any "hoe" and turn them into something else... Something super.
Ian: This is a transcendental meditation technique experimentally employed by some of the keenest, imploding minds of the late 19th century. Roughly, one is instructed here to imagine oneself on the sea, over the sea, to escape. We all know how that worked out for Freddie N.
Ian: This is a transcendental meditation technique experimentally employed by some of the keenest, imploding minds of the late 19th century. Roughly, one is instructed here to imagine oneself on the sea, over the sea, to escape. We all know how that worked out for Freddie N.
Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
[Verse 1:]Soulja Boy Off In This HoeWatch Me Lean And Watch Me RockSuper Man Dat HoeThen Watch Me Crank Dat RobocopSuper Fresh, Now Watch Me JockJocking On Them Haterz ManWhen I Do Dat Soulja BoyI Lean To The Left And Crank Dat Dance(Now You)
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Paul: So this verse is about Edwin leaving the farm behind, his struggle to start his car, and making sure his farm was in capable hands. Now the Robocop reference is not the 1987 classic we have grown to know and love. In the 1920's Robocops were also known as early prototypes of traffic signals which, inefficiently, were powered by hand crank.
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| Robocop 1927 |
Ryan: A continuation of the chant... This part is not actually used in the ceremony though was used in the song with the hope of gathering a larger audience. Like me, not everyone wants to be Superman... I needed more before I decided to not only change my life, but to decide that I was ready to "change life!" Obviously what I am saying is that the Robocop reference made me decide I should do this. Robocop is SICK!! Ian: The dialect here is a bit hard to follow, but here's the generally accepted formulation. Soulja Boy, by way of writing this, is traversing his inner hell, at constant odds with his life, his physical body. His skin squeezes him tightly, trapping his spiritual form (the Soul in Soulja Boy)--here's a quick detour: for those who aren't familiar with the artist's roots, his name Soul ja is intended as a life affirming quip "Say yes to the soul!", not unlike Pepsi meaning "Pep? Yes!" Now in the second half of this argument, we find SJBT exclaiming, super fresh, watch me jock. What he's stating, firmly and without question, is this: You think you're super smart? You'll only waddle under the yoke. Of course, this is a colloquial translation, but it serves the purpose here. He goes on to say that you are trapped in the yoke of your very own recognition of your superiority. The body isn't thankful for the mind's attempts to overthrow it. ________________________________
I'm Jocking On Yo xxxxx AssAnd If We Get The FightinThen I'm Cocking On Your BitchYou Catch Me At Yo Local PartyYes I Crank It EverydayHaterz Get Mad Cuz"I Got Me Some Bathin Apes"________________________________
Paul: I can't tell you how delightful this verse was to read. As we all know Edwin James' journey although highly ambitious was poorly planned. Edwin ran out of petrol about 3 miles out of town and had to take a mule back into town for more.
The next few lines recall his encounter at a store to where he was in a verbal altercation with the shop keep over the value of a dinner hen. There was a celebratory party planned for Edwin's safe return and he wanted a gift to bring. He was negotiating a lower price by pleading with the shop keep that he has to "crank it everyday" to make it to his store.
Edwin left without a dinner hen but with a "bathing ape" which is an antiquated term for a monkey that assists you in the shower.
Ryan: This looks dirty.. but it is not. He just wanted to use shock value to intimidate haters. I am not allowed to speak further on this due to my "Superman" obligations.
Ian: Translation: I'm just a tethered branch. The more I grow outward, the more I feel restrained. My bones boil in this thankless, bitter world. A game of cat and mouse in the toilet. Everyday brings the same scheme. My self-possession and acknowledgement of my intellect makes me my own beloved servant-girl. I got me some bathin apes.
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[Chorus]Soulja Boy Off In This HoeWatch Me Crank ItWatch Me RollWatch Me Crank Dat Soulja BoyThen Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Soulja Boy Off In This HoeWatch Me Crank ItWatch Me RollWatch Me Crank Dat Soulja BoyThen Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
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[Verse 2:]I'm Bouncin On My ToeWatch Me Super Soak Dat HoeI'ma Pass It To ArabThen He Gon Pass It To The Low (Low)Haterz Wanna Be MeSoulja Boy, I'm The ManThey Be Lookin At My NeckSayin Its The Rubberband Man (Man)Watch Me Do It (Watch Me Do It)
Paul: This whole verse is set back on the James's farm. This is through the POV of Shamus McFinn, the young man left in charge while Edwin is busy jocking his car across America.
Shamus is dancing in the fields (bouncing on his toe) and watering the spring harvest. He and his other brothers Arab and the mentally handicapped little brother (known back then as Lows) are working hard on the farm delegating duties to ensure a successful harvest for Edwin's return.
He references Haterz in the next line, which was the Haterz family who lived two houses down from the James farm. Thomas Haterz wasn't considered for the farming job due to his dependency on opiates.
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| Thomas Haterz passing time, waiting for work. |
Ryan: This is the final part of the ceremony. It is sung by Mr. Souja as he stands on a box of expensive electronics that he purchased with his mad bank that he collected from being so successful as a rapper. As this part is sung, you slowly start to convert. You become more than an average hoe.. You become..
Sadly I didn't use these powers for the same reason as Superman... Ian: What I want to focus on here is the invocation of the Rubberband Man concept. Coming to the conclusion that the life of academic pursuit is not only fruitless but actually harmful to one's existence in the physical realm, Soulja began investigating the potentiality of extremity. In his early experiments, he would allow himself bouts of intense mental exercise, demanding and exacting, followed by periods of extreme mental listlessness, forced distraction and constant masturbation. He hypothesized that the human mind can be increasingly accessed and employed if treated as the muscle it is and not an intangible concept like the mind, thus increasing its utility and its benefit to the working body, creating a complete human, where mind and body assist each other in harmonious gestalt. ____________________________________________
Dance (Dance)Let Get To It (Let Get To It)Nope, You Can't Do It Like MeHoe, So Don't Do It Like MeFolk, I See You Tryna Do It Like MeMan That xxxx Was Ugly
[Chorus]Soulja Boy Off In This HoeWatch Me Crank ItWatch Me RollWatch Me Crank Dat Soulja BoyThen Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Soulja Boy Off In This HoeWatch Me Crank ItWatch Me RollWatch Me Crank Dat Soulja BoyThen Super Man Dat HoeNow Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)Now Watch Me Do(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
