hockey Rip Taylor

The REAL Rip Taylor #9: Hobbies No. 2Internation Ice Hockey Owner

10:21:00 AMPaul Clemente

The year was 2006, and Rip was coming off a particular powerful performance on "The Suite Life with Zack and Cody" as Leo, when he was putting together a plan for his now famous one man show "It Ain't all Confetti".

Rip testing confetti in his training facility

Rip knew he needed this to be his best performance to date, so he re analyzed all aspects of his show from top to bottom. He comedic timing was impeccable, his jokes were razor sharp, but his confetti (the same he's used since the 50's) seemed to fall flat. He searched the nation for the best confetti manufactured by man. He tested weight, consistency, grade, aerodynamics, and color. He flew in several confetti vendors to his West Hollywood mansion including Mohawk, Hammermill, and the powerhouse International Paper. All confetti was tested in a controlled environment in front of thousands of simulated situations, but they all fell short.  It was then Rip was contacted by the Nippon Paper president, Yoshio Haga.

Yoshio claimed that his companies confetti was the best in the world. As quick as you can say " Heeeeey, Dap Da Da Dee Da-da" Rip flew to Japan. Yoshio gave Rip first class accommodations in attempt to sway his fickle confetti tastes. They went to Kura 66 a popular Sake Bar in Tokyo Station where they began to conduct business. Rip was pricing the per pound rates of Nippon's Grade A2 confetti, when Rip had his first shot of sake. He loved taste and immediately ordered several more.

I fucked up.
Yoshio, and Rip were about 7 shots of Sake into the night where the local Japan Cup of horse racing was on the television. They started to bet on the race, with bragging rights increasing every second, Yoshio ened up betting half ownership of his hockey team the Nippon Paper Cranes. Rip ended up winning the bet with the horse Deep Impact. Rip celebrated the win with a handful of Nippon's experimental Tc Grade Confetti, and a new found interest in international ice hockey.

Ashamed, Yoshio sold his remaining half to his long time paper rival Kazuhisa Shinoda. The team was renamed the Oji Eagles, during a sake fueled phone conversation with Mr. Taylor where he was recalled saying,
"Oh gee! I have no idea. Who is this Elizabeth Taylor?"

In 2007, the Oji Eagles had their inaugural season with the Asia League Ice Hockey organization winning the All Japan Cup in their first ever year. Although Rip assumed mostly an off-ice role with the team, but during the Finals Rip played an important role for the team entertaining them between periods, and motivating them towards their goal.

What am I doing here?





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