diary of a madman

Diary of a Madman #7

11:00:00 AMPaul Clemente




This latest endeavour with the cliche name is another selfish act of mine to add to my digital epitaph. These entries are taken from a small pile of composition notebooks dating from 2008-2011. Most of these ideas were the foundation of construxnunchux to be used as a digital diary for Ian and I. I am going to transcribe some of the scribblings inside of these notebooks to share with you all. My goal always is to entertain but also to add to the deeply personal nature of this website.  Enjoy.


Everyone has a drug. A junkie for satisfaction.
Everyone walks with a crutch.
Hide a wound, feed your brain.
It cradles you and warms you.
Chew on glass with a crooked smile.
You are poisoned and hindered.
Taste a cloud and close your eyes.
You are not safe - you were born in a raindrop.
Are you healed? Do you need more?
Pull the strings and your muscles scream.
Mouth sewn shut, feet are calloused.
Keep on going.

Go back to sleep.
No one cares but it's like their sunlight.
Grab it.
Hold it like water.
Whiten your knuckles, watch it bleed away.
Reach.
Suffer.

Dislocated fingers and chest pain.
It will always hurt you, biting the hand you trust.
You will always love it.
Cherish intangible ideas.
Hold them close and have them share the intimacy of your heartbeat.
It will smother you.
No mercy.
Just silence.
Unsatisfied and the fear of losing that lump of clay you hate.

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