3.09.2012

Clemente's Lament #2

still waiting, bitch
I miss the days where I was unaware of the world around me. I long for the days where the only thing important to me was what shows were on the TV that day and how much Nintendo time I was going to squeeze in between those shows.This is a simplistic and unrealistic request, with impossibility being the only thing between me and my wish (unless Doc Brown steps his shit up). I don't really want to be a kid, or recapture my childhood, but I wish I was blissfully uninformed of all the tragedy in the world.

One thing in particular thing  that infuriates me is abuse. Not only the people who abuse, but the people who are dumb enough to tolerate it. This might seem insensitive, but its so very true. The stories that I have heard about abuse in the passed few years have been staggering. The two things that shock me is the absolute normality of it all, and the stupidity involved with both parties.

now you sure that's medium rare?
I know someone close to my family who was abused by her ex-husband, physically, mentally, and verbally. She was hit by inanimate objects, had breakfast thrown at her for not preparing it correctly, and had everyone she cared about humiliated. He ran his house like Bing Crosby, dinner hot and ready by the time he got home, his home clean, and his wife quiet; anything less would warrant a tantrum of name calling and physical abuse. He took part-time jobs and made her do them collecting the money reminding her that it was his to take.

Sounds terrible right? Sounds like hell on earth? Not for her. She toiled working full time, and balancing this lunatic's requests. Even going to lengths to put generic cereal into brand name boxes so he wouldn't know and make constant excuses defending his behavior on mental illness.
No fucking shit.

At one point the abuse got too much for her to tolerate, and she was living with family as she looked to piece back together her hectic life. The family never asked her for anything as they were concerned for her safety and wanted her to get back into a healthy situation. The sanctuary and support of this environment lasted 12 hours, as she felt obligated to be at his home early to make him breakfast. She would call him, and run errands for him while lying to the people who took her in. As stupid people do, she went back to his home within a week, not even ashamed of herself. She mentioned "what else am i supposed to do?"

no its cool! blue cars do this.
Simply dumbfounding to me. I know there is strong sympathetic research made in the case of the abused to where it states a "victim's mentality" becomes to skewed and stained that they come to think that that's normal. I don't buy it. Not for one second. Every human being has a sense of right and wrong, and the pursuit of happiness. It's human nature. Even if its something that we don't understand or agree with it's still making them happy in some degree. Anyone who willfully waives their right to happiness is fundamentally flawed and deserves the misfortune that they stumble across.

I have no sympathy for this woman. In fact, I have come to resent her over time since she makes these insane inconveniences everyone else's by expecting people not only to understand, but conform to his requests. She answers all criticism with harsh denial, defensive yelling, and then with sheepish "you know how he is."

yeah, that's for Ong Bak 2
Every person on this planet should be held accountable for their behavior. If you an awful person you do not deserve humane treatment. If you are a fundamentally good person, I believe you deserve some level of unearned happiness. To make excuses, and even reward this awful behavior with compliance or obedience, makes you just as bad as the abuser. You send a message to him that his actions, in turn, return him this behavior - so why would he ever change? Why would you even hold on to a sliver of hope that you will wake up to anything different to the hell that YOU built?

O RLY?
I know this an awful one-sided and possibly ignorant view to the horrible world that is abuse, but I think the SECOND you stop believing that you can control your OWN life, is the moment that you deserve anything that's coming to you. Everyone has control over their own actions (excluding robots) and you have to strive every second you are alive to you and your loved one's well being. If you are not doing that - then you need to hit that reset button and start doing it. There is no benefit  to blindly devoting your life to someone who is not you if it does not bring you happiness. Yes, even you GOD. I'm not advocating neglect of anyone who needs care, but if its not making you happy don't do it. It's simple. You would think it would be even engrained on an instinctual level. Animals don't do anything they hate. That's why cat don't do tricks.

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