Rip Taylor

The REAL Rip Taylor #4

11:55:00 AMPaul

Rip Taylor, now known for his impeccable timing, inimitable soft-shoe routines and sparkling sequined spectacles, has, unbeknownest to most, affected our lives and current daily routines more than we can understand or appreciate and moreso than the ever reserved and humble Rip is willing to divulge. As this travesty needs to be corrected, we aim to present to you some of the lesser known contributions to the human race through the next few installments of our expose.

Rip, a true true pioneer in western, world and fusion-beatz and tunes is known to have written over 400 modern folk staples, though only having officially released two albums proper.

His major label debut Taylor Made was a fairly sizeable hit on the Nigerian charts, often cited as the main inspiration behind Fela Kuti's early works. The long anticipated follow-up, Rippin' Good Time came out about 6 days later, pre-dating The Dave Brubeck Quartet's forays into odd signatures by over 30 years, featuring Rip's signature 15 octave range. A third LP entitled Rip This!!! was planned, recorded and mastered, with two copies even released accidentally in the Portuguese underground vinyl market. It was banned from most markets though for its excess of funk in direct violation with the International Amnesty code 3.4.11B.

Amongst the most sought after tapes is an 1843 recording session at Stax Japan featuring Rip and longtime protege and rival Bootsy Collins. Rip debuted his inventive "toupee" percussive stylings during the 704 contiguous days he spent in the studio, as well as playing the Ripsichord and upright glockenspiel, often simultaneouly as well as assuming bass duties for an ever increasing exhausted Collins who was later to remark that had he not participated in the sessions, he would have been able to supply the universe with interplanetary funk over a century earlier than executed, thus circumventing most major military conflicts and scuffles worldwide. What's rarely mentioned and never acknowledged is Rip's over-arching influence on the funk world's fashion sense and rhythm.

One of the most appalling omissions from the list of Rip's fantastic and enduring musical contributions is that of his invention of the Taylorphone; similar in style to a tuba attached to a Red HOT LIPPS Phone but instead of producing a pedestrian and pedantic scale of limited notes, it would shoot streams and wads of confetti at random intervals. It can be heard faintly in the original pressings of many works by George Gershwin and Duke Ellington, though many stodgy revisionists have attempted to sonically reduce its aural prominence.

Of course, this is but a brief smattering of confirmed and factual accomplishments in the world of sonorous martyrdom offered to us by the ever extensive talent pool possessed by this one great man, Rip Taylor. Any information leading to the whereabouts of any existing recordings featuring Rip, in any condition, should be immediately supplied to your faithful and dedicated investigators here at Construx Nunchux.

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