Clemente's Lament (repost)

1:00:00 PMPaul

You'll need the following ingredients:

8 lbs 4oz Unmet expectations
6 Cups Shame (Can substitute with Humiliation)
2 1/2 Cups Resentment
2 Cups Rejection
3/4 Cup Loneliness
2 Tbsp Fear of failure
2 Tbsp Sabotage of success
1 1/29 Tbsp Misdirected frustration
1 Tbsp Old wounds
1/2 Tsp Bad sense of humor
1/2 Tsp Denial
1/4 Tsp Table salt
1/200 Tsb Self-loathing (make sure it's fresh, that makes all the difference!)
Pinch Thyme to taste

Pour everything into one large, out of shape vessel.  Set mixture out until it loses all comprehension of how the real world works.  Stir occasionally with bad decisions.   Remember to shout vigorously, and hit when necessary.  You may feel the urge to keep your promises as you see it start to take shape, but this will ruin the finished product.  Let stew for about 35 years in a stanky pot of your own sweaty ballistics.  This goes extremely well with an excess of alcohol.  Enjoy!

Here is how the finished product should look:

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