Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Uh uh, ah uh

Yo Jeffrey Buss it

What are ya doin in there?





Ian: Now, I'm not sure who he's askin. He knows Jeff is bustin because he just asked him to. I can only assume he's askin us. Well???


Ryan: If he is unsure with what or who he is talking to, how the hell are we supposed to understand?




Word em up word em up word em up

In the place at about this time

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince just bu bu buggin out

Losing it all no sense






Ian: I don't even think he's bein facetious here. It's pretty clear already that Prince lost his goddam mind, y'know, one layup short of a double-double, naw mean??


Ryan: Brilliant. So well written. I like how they show how "buggin out" and "Losing it all no sense" by actually making no fucking sense at all... Well played, you brilliant song writers!




Ay Jeff scratch it scratch it man, scratch it

Uh aw that was decent

Now scratch it a quick joint, a quick one Jeff

Oh yeah yeah





Ian: Dude, the man is an artist!! Let him express himself. And really, is that all you can say to him is "decent?" It's a little more impressive than that.


Ryan: It is clear that there were multiple joints involved here... Did Freshy (that is what I call him) hear that shit? The only thing decent here is Freshies understanding of a solid scratch.



We just bugging we just having some fun

Me and Jeffrey

He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper





Ian: Really. At this point, I was just assumin you were some guy just standing there annoying Jeff while he was tryin to work.


Ryan: I have yet to hear any rap at this point... Clearly we know the member of this "group" that has proven their title mentioned earlier in this track..




Hello can anybody hear me

You can aight that's good you can hear me

Okay it's clear it's good okay everybody's got it

One two

One two and






Ian: Wait a minute... Did you just count in the listener?






Ryan: I would have made sure that I could be heard during the production of this track, but that is just me.

















My rhymes have been written not to be bitten

But as it seems, some suckers keep forgetting the rules about rappin, but that's alright

Cause in the next five minutes I'm a have them all uptight





Ian: If they're forgetting the rules of rappin, just gonna say, that it's less than likely that them bitin is the first rule they gonna break. Not if they can't get rhythm or the basics down.






Ryan: There is not 5 minutes remaining on this track. WTF is Freshy on? Not bitten? I assume he means that he is biting spit... It could not mean anything else.




Stronger than a dinosaur, better known than Santa

Man the battles I battle, I usually win em

In less than a minute, but it all depends

On how long it takes you rappers to realise

That trying to defend yourself is ridiculous





Ian: I don't think dinosaurs are known for being strong, necessarily, as much as they're known for being fuckin huge. And here's the thing about Santa; he's not real, so I don't know how much of a feather in your cap that one is. Now, your battles: to say you usually win em is sorta... well... not that impressive. Sorta like sayin "My record is 5 wins and fives losses... oh yeah! and one draw!!! No matter how quickly you win em, if it ain't a flawless record, it's a little humdrum. I sincerely doubt you win battles that quickyly anyway, when it takes you a minute or more to ramp up and actually start spittin.






Ryan: I find it hard to believe that Freshy was ever a part of a rap battle. If he was, I find it harder to believe that he ever won. Though, I do recall the strong man competition between Freshy and a T-Rex. The match was called off due to illegal use of marijuana, however when the competition was called off I thought it was pretty clear that the T-Rex had the edge but I am not judge.














Didn't you get my message it's out of the question

Cause you're toys boys, I'm the Real McCoy

I'm really gonna enjoy seeing you destroyed

If I was Fred Flintstone I'd probably own all of Bedrock

If I was a criminal I'd probably own a cellblock

If I was in the Navy I would own the sea

But I'm a poet so I own the whole rap industry

I'm like a lion my man, and the streets are my den





Ian: Wait... there's a message here? Is it that you own the industry? I though Mr. Slate did. And anyway, what the hell did i do at any point for you to be so keen on my destruction.






Ryan: Rhyming "Cause you're toys boys, I'm the real McCoy" may hurt how accurate that line is. For someone that isn't that good at what he is doing, he is pretty sure that he would be the best at things that he doesn't do.










It's either kill or be killed, so I kill

I kill again and again and again

Surmount the times, rappers I'll slaughter them

I tie em up and throw them in the water

Then I'll just walk away like nothing ever happened until somebody else starts rappin

That's when I snap and I'll attack and go mad like Rambo or maybe like Commando, or like Lando

Calrissian, cause you know he was down with the Force

Fresh Prince is the source I feel no pain or remorse

Think that you can beat me rappin man you must be silly

Man I really really really really really really

Hate when people, doubt my ability

And I have to prove superiority





Ian: I think some of this actually violates the rules of rappin. And may I just simply say, the murder bit. No one's buyin it. Here's my thing about yet again the fictional characters you reference here: Lando really wasn't anywhere near as much a maniac psycho as the other two. But I do appreciate the tidbit about the force, because I was not aware of that.






Ryan: How is he not in jail for these murders? If he was, I am certain that he would not have his own cellblock. I never knew that Freshy was so violent. I knew that he was over rated, but not that he was violent.










If rap was basketball, I would be in luck

Cause every time I freestyle it would be a slam dunk

Man I'm the engineer, and you're the passengers

Taking on a voyage, a hip-hop massacre

The Jason of rap, Freddy Kruger of rhymin

And I'm sure that you'll see in due time man

People will run, to Philadelphia Pennsylvania to all join in, to this Fresh Prince mania

My face in magazines, on your radio or stereo

Everywhere you go, audio and video









Ian: I'm not quite sure what you're the engineer of, since you didn't preface it with "If rap were a train..." But like, here's the deal. Why do you start threatening to kill your listeners? Why are we on a hip-hop massacre? I didn't agree to this. I'm assuming the mania you're talking about is the legit mental illness you're exhibiting right now, Prince.






Ryan: I think "Hip-Hop massacre" has been the only line in this track that has been accurate so far. And as far as the face being on the radio and stereo, I am confused... Unless he was also a technology wizard and saw all the changes coming to electronics, but I think that is very doubtful//






A hip-hop terrorist, war like vocalist

Other rappers say, yo Prince why don't you show me this

Style now you must be trippin it ain't no way in hell I'ma let you put your lip in

My rhyme cause it's a timebomb, I'm not kiddin

My rhyme explodes the second it gets bitten

I'm quick and nimble, a status symbol

I shop at Macy's now but I used to shop at Gimble's

I'll, drop kick a hurricane, bodyslam a tidal wave

Walk through a tornado, or a volcano





Ian: I don't think a drop kick or a body slam would be very effective against a natural disaster. It actually sounds like the kind of thing one of the Construx guys would try to do.






Ryan: What is with this dude and biting words? Clearly I am not familiar with rap expressions back in the day. At this point of the song, I really wish that he would walk through a volcano..











But I'll be okay though

And here's some more info that you rappers should know

You are the bombs and I will defuse you

I am the lawyer and I'm going to accuse you of the ultimate rhyme crime and you will be guilty

There's no way that you'll ever ever defeat beat me rappin any time or day

Pop so much trash, man I can't wait to be face to face, and hear Jeff say sick em

Man you're gonna be my victim









Ian: What I wanna know is how you went from being a terrorist to being on the bomb squad to passing the bar? I would call this less info and more the ramblings of a madman. I doubt we ever hear Jeff say sick em, not having heard him say anything yet, and only hearin Prince tellin dude to scratch it this way and that.






Ryan: This was obviously before being called the bomb was a compliment. I feel that Freshy was less influential on Hip-Hop than he claims to be in this track. Maybe he was popular because he killed all the other rappers back then?










You better duck, and pray for good luck Chuck, cause you're stuck

You're like a Thanksgiving turkey and it's time to be plucked

I see you're nervous purpose that's how I now you're soft

You're runnin round like a chicken with your head cut off

But just relax my power to the max

And I'm cuttin no slack on this rap track, Jack

So back up, as if you got good sense

Or feel the fury of the Prince

And ya don't stop

Yo Jazzy why don't you rock up the spots

Yo Jazzy hey Jeff I'm psyched I'm psyched

Give em a cut Jeff

Ooh-wee check out my dish-jockey!

Ay Jeffrey Jeffrey Jeffrey, a fast one





Ian: How can you being relaxed to the max and still cut no slack?!?! This is all contradictory!!! You do know that a chicken and a turkey are different things, yeah?






Ryan: FINALLY MORE JEFF! My goodness I thought I was gonna have to put up with more Freshy.










Uh ha yeah

Wow, ay Jeff Jeff, give em one of them fresh ones

A fresh one Jeffrey

No music, no music

Woo, that was decent, that was decent

That's my DJ, that's my DJ

Jazzy Jeff, I'm the Fresh Prince

Hi how ya doin?

How's everyone doin out there?

Ooh!

I'm just here to talk about my DJ

I was just I was just standin in here, really

Really? Aight, okay, um

On behalf of DJ Jazzy Jeff, and the Fresh Prince ..

(Don't touch that dial)

Thank you, and good night






Ian: I'm beginning to doubt Jeff even exists...






Ryan: Freshy continues to not give proper credit. We all know he was the talented one. By not complimenting him you are not convincing anyone that you are the talented one in this group...