Ask a Clemente 1/28/11*3:45:00 PMPaul Clemente
Indiana PA asks- "How do you handcuff a one-armed man?"
Paul: I am sooooo tired of people wanting to stereotype a one armed man! You think they have nothing else better to do than commit crimes? Listen, I know a one armed man, he is a good standing member of my community, and he refuses his handicap to change his day to day life.
|One arm? If only ...|
Ian: As a deputy advisor on the advisory board for the One Arm Task Force, I strongly advise anyone attempting to apprehend a one-armed man to exercise extreme excessive force.
Pittsburgh, PA asks - "If you could pick your top 3 "man, it would be awesome to have that job", what would they be...and dont make it about money."
Paul: My list is simple as I have dreamed them since I was young:
1. A member of MC Hammer's posse:
|sup little man?|
2. Pro Wrestling Referee:
What appeals to me is that you are instantly a part of sports history, being there up close with some of the greatest athletes on the planet, and the excitement of the crowd would just get my blood pumping. The plus side is that it seems that you don't have to be aware of anything. You can turn a blind eye to illegality, and when you get touched by anyone you can take a nice 10-15 minute nap having to recollection of anything that happened previously to that. Seems pretty easy job where you only need to count to 3, if you get confronted you fall down and turtle, and if you feel assertive you are the boss and your word is above all.
3. NHL Penalty Box Attendant: After a huge penalty, wouldn't you love just to look the guy in the eye, and tell him "you know, you fucked up". You would inevitably meet all the NHL players during your career, and the only thing you would need to do is count down from 2, 4, 5, or 10 open the door and earn a paycheck.
Ian: First, I'd like to work for the U.S. Mint. I'd get to have complete control over inflation and devaluation. Man, it would be awesome to have that job.
Second, I would like to be the Monopoly banker. Seriously, guys, I know last time, I threw the bank out the window and kicked over the board and said I hated you all because you're a bunch of cheaters, but I swear this time it'll be different. Man it would be awesome to have that job.
Third, I'd like to be MC Hammer's accountant. Talk about getting paid to do nothing! Ha! Man it would be awesome to have that job.
Paul: You know I've heard that a few times in my life from different people. I think the explanation stems from a deep seeded ..... eh, I'm bored - nevermind.
Ian: I thought I had asked you not to bring that up, ever again. It's true, I used to have a problem with persistence. I think it's glanular and now that it's common knowledge, I suppose I'll reveal how I've dealt with it throughout the years:
Vanessa S. Ambler, PA asks - "what is thundersnow?"
They approached Snow with the idea to be the figurehead of the then unnamed energy drink campaign to which he replied, "Word ..." On the assumption that it meant yes, and his agent accepting the multi-million dollar endorsement from PepsiCo proceeded with the drink being branded "Thundersnow". Thundersnow the first energy drink ever introduced by a major US beverage company. It's flavor has been described as predominately fruity, with a hint of spice and a touch of the key ingredient guaraná. It was marketed as a "high-energy drink" with guaraná and caffeine. In full production and ready to ship, Thundersnow was 3 months away from launch. Pepsi Co. was ready to film a commercial with the Canadian MC. Snow was no where to be found. Director, Bob Giraldi, (who's previous claim to fame was setting Michael Jackson on fire in 1984, and ironically working on MJ's HIStory video collection) was furious! They contacted Snow, and Snow's representatives numerous times with no answer. The production was shut down that same day with the Pepsi Co. having a tough decision ahead of them.
|Snow calling Pepsi "wack"|