comix magneto

Paul's Ultimate X-men Team

2:47:00 PMPaul

Since this is Nerdvember I thought I would do something that is archaically nerdy comic books. Now Ian and I used to be into comics pretty hard; me being an X-men/Image guy, and Ian Avengers primarily. It's amazing how much knowledge you retain over the years. With the addition of my most recent "toilet book" the Marvel Encyclopedia I can only imagine how tough it is for comic writers to come up with new and exciting angles for characters that are decades old, keep the integrity of the characters, and make them fresh, contemporary, and exciting.

I will have to preface my selections that these are all pre-Mday, and no one is dead, everyone in their prime. Hey, this IS Nerdvember.

1. Wolverine

How can you have a list without Wolverine? He was the benefit of being a mutant, then being infused with adamantium. (is it stronger than vibranium?) He is indestructible, has the sharpest metal poking out of his hands, super agility, super tracking/scent, he's lived over 100 years due to his healing factor. How do you make a team without him I can't see.

He has the experience of leading the team, and is useful in tons of ways. I have a feeling if you broke him down enough he would party with you. I don't think I could out-drink him (healing factor) but I would for sure party with him. I would hope I would be able to goad him into punching stuff for my entertainment.

2. Magneto

I don't care what argument you throw at me (arguments email to Magneto is the baddest villain  in ALL of comics. What may seem simple as controlling magnetism has evolved over the years into him basically doing anything he wants. The iron in your blood, the pollution in the air, the man can do anything he wants.

On top of his awesome powers, he must be a master debater (giggle) as he led the X-men on more than one occasion Ric Flairing them every time and they keep trusting him for some reason. He would be the natural leader of my group, probably not much fun on the road, but important none the less. I would put him up against anyone in the Marvel or DC Universe and declare the victor.

3. Bishop

Bishop was introduced right when I was into comics the hardest. He was from the future where the X-men were like Wyld Stallyns of his time period. When he traveled back in time to work with the legendary X-men he came from a time where he was in a mutant concentration camp, and he was surly as shit.

He has the ability to absorb energy and channel it back to his opponent, or he can keep it and heal him self. It doesn't work well with bullets, but who the hell uses guns in comic books. He also has guns and tech from the future, so I would definitely want to check out his iPad50 and see if they ever got the battery life to last all day. I would ask Bishop sports scores, ala Biff from Back to the Future 2 and become financially independent.

4. Archangel

Now, he's always been a favorite of mine but badass? no, not hardly. Who is going to finance my extravagant taste for fancy scotch, and gastropubs? Archangel will. He's rich. He can fly. I don't see really going anywhere beyond that to explain why he made it onto my team. I'm sure his constant brooding, and his metal wings tearing the shit out of the upholstery of our limo would get old after awhile, but I'm sure I can look passed that. 

5. Colossus

Colossus can turn to metal when he feels like it, imagine how many chicks at the bar we can impress with that parlor trick! He's strong as hell, and I'd ask him nicely to lift up tanks for me. I've always wanted to see that. Plus, I think somehow him being Russian he can get me in with Evgeni Malkin somehow. In a fight he's invaluable with his steel punches, or he can be manipulated by Magneto to be an unstoppable ball of violence. Is it racist to think that he's probably a strong drinker?

6. Multiple Man

One of the easiest picks for me besides Magneto. He can multiply himself to an undefined amount of times. His duplicates on their own journeys can act independently of him, but are psychically linked  to the original. So if he was taking class, he can send a multiple absorb him back and gain the knowledge from that class. The nerd rabbit-hole this led me down is mind numbing with physio-biology being involved. Having that ability in real life or in a fight is immeasurable awesome. Would we send multiples to do shit I don't want to do? Yes.

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