he-man nostalgia

Top 10 He-man Characters

11:43:00 AMPaul

When Ian, and I were younger, He-Man was the alpha and omega of entertainment for us. We had a huge collection accumulated after scribing strange names ending with -or, and -man suffixes on birthday lists for years. The list below is in no particular order, and some of these we owned, and some I wish I had owned. I am going to post the entire wiki description below them, because someone with tons more dedication that me did an amazing job with their story, origin, powers ect. it's interesting as hell.

1. Trap Jaw 

Trap-Jaw was Skeletor's left-hand man (get it?) working hand-in-hand with Beastman to carry out Skeletor's handy-work. We owned Trap-Jaw and he was just nasty looking. We lost most of his arm attachments, so his empty hole was a flamethrower, and his mouth once was used to decapitate Man-E-Faces in an epic Enternian battle that was held in our family basement.

2. Man-E-Faces

Man-E-Faces was pretty incredible as far as sidekicks go. I thought he was alot better choice for He-Man than that mustachioed fuck Man-At-Arms. We had Man-E-Faces, but his leg was unfortunately snapped off in a horrible mishandling from one of us. We tried to repair him with masking tape but to no avail. He was relegated to guarding Castle GreySkull in the orange throne while the rest of the warriors warred in the carpeted fields of our basement.

3. Zodak

We never owned Zodak, but I loved him due to the fact that he was not good, or bad. He was the even up guy, Ric Flaring anyone who got the upper hand in the good v. evil battle. He made very rare appearances in the He-Man cartoon, but when he did they were profound. No clue why he refuses to wear pants. and has webbed feet.

 4. Buzz-off

Buzz-off was another fringe He-man character. He was hyped big time, but never made it to the big show. We owned the figure, and I was fascinated with the awesome yellow wings he had. Plus what sold him was a poster that came in Masters of the Universe magazine, it was so bad ass.


5. Moss-Man

Moss-Man is easily one of the most popular He-man character in existence. He was just a green Beast-Man, but he was scented with something magical. I could not get enough of that wonderful smell. His green fuzz depleted over time, but the smell remained. We gave Moss-Man super strength when fighting, since it wasn't really clear what his purpose in the Eternian world.

6. Stink-or

Stink-Or "The Evil Master of Odors" was another incredible character who never saw the light of day for the He-Man cartoon.  I also loved the smell, which I learned later on in life was "patchouli oil". Stink-or never really got much action on the battlefield in our world, since we thought his power was too advantageous. 

7. Faker

Faker was just a blue He-Man with Skeletor armor. We used him as a giant asset in the He-Man/Skeletor war. Faker was the tide-turner when our dramtic battle became too one-sided. Faker was used as Skeletor's trump card to murder most of He-Man's sidekicks.

 8. Tri-klops

Tri-Klops was maybe hispanic with three awesome eyes, all which we made shoot lasers. Tri-Klops was used in our wars as a main soldier on the evil side, using his lasers to kill all the minor players on the good side.  

 9. Scareglow

We never owned ScareGlow since he was one of the very last characters made for Masters of the Universe collection. It was considered long "over the shark" when this badass hit the shelves. Once the surge of He-Man returned after the live movie, ScareGlow was no where to be found. It was all about the Horde, and the Movie figures. I really wish we would have snagged him when we had the chance. 

10. Mosquitor 

Mosquitor could very possibly be the last He-Man character we bought. He was undeniably evil, with "real" blood inside of his chest. We had Mosquitor straight murder people during our battles. The blood was able to be pulsated by a button in his back, so when he would stab people with his face, we would simulate him drinking blood from his victims. He was a huge asset to Skeletor when he would battle He-Man

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