contraversy paul is dead

construX XonfeZZion: For Real?!!?!

4:04:00 PMPaul

Okay, I was out on the road, hitting NCMF as yesterday's post indicates.  Well I just rolled in this evening, feeling pretty relieved about our entire site after having come clean, when I saw this video.   It appears there are some people involved with this past year's production, one that helped ease us all into accepting Paul's mournful absence, people who still want to capitalize on the frailty of humanity instead of doing the right thing. 

As I mentioned in the above video, I am risking potential legal action (we have two cXnX branded lawyers looking into this) for even outing the Paul double last week.  I can't come out and give you his name, but hopefully it will become painfully obvious through my efforts that this person is an imposter trying to cash in on Paul's fame instead of letting us finally honor him the way he has deserved this entire year.  So today, for starters, I want to illuminate a few obvious oversights that NotPaul made in his horrendously disrespectful video defense.  In his hastily made parody piece and without my guidancehe executed several fatal flaws:

Frame 268: Without the make up artists we employ to apply the "Paul" look before each Nostalgia video, X, either working on his own or with a very low budget staff, had to apply a different color of fake skin to hide some pre-existing scars he has.  Additionally, the false teeth extensions he's using feature a Cupid's Doubt finish , while Paul's teeth resembled the less traditional Rally line.

Frame 871:  The Sabres?!  Come on... Paul doesn't even watch lacrosse!  And what is that in the glass? Paul was on strict Blended Scotch regimen for the last few years of his life, as documented in Battle Xmas.

Frame 1254:  If you look closely at the illuminated glasses frame, you'll see that NotPaul is struggling with the 84th level in Bubble Bobble.  Until the end of his life, Paul was not able to get past level 3.

Frame 2571: Unfortunately the wild hand gestures are a dead giveaway.  First off, Paul is much more subdued.  Second of all, Paul had 10 fingers on his left hand.  NotPaul exposes that he has four fingers here.  He is also wearing the wrong wedding badn.  Paul's is a aluminium alloy.  Paul also used to wear his engagment ring on the same finger, the one shaped like a dragon.

Frame 3228: Paul was actually much much fatter than the person in this video.  As such, he had the decency never to be filmed or photographed without a shirt.  And more astute observers will notice several discrepancies in the tattoos.

Frame 6976:  The final frame reveals the biggest errors as the most natural light brightens the scene.  First, if you look closely through this guy's glasses, you can see he is winking with his left eye.  Paul always winked with his right, or at least did the one time I saw him wink.  Secondly, notice the knowing grin he leaves us with here, as if to say he knows something we don't know...

As a quick piece of evidence, please witness this phone call that took place when I tried to reach Paul where he'd been working.  If Paul were okay and everything were fine, he would still be at his job.  They didn't say he fired or quit, but that he's "no longer with us."

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