9.23.2011

o╝o▐○τ♣«╤Rumorous FridaysMM○0♣╝M

 
 
Now thoM▐╝at I'm inside.♪▲( I can play. You can't hide. I'm here all day. 
 
<script type="text/javascript">
  document.write("\x3cstyle type\x3d\x22text/css\x22\x3e\n 
\n      \n        #enclosures { display:none; }\n 
#hideEnclosuresLink { display:none; }\n\n        \n 
#showEnclosuresLink { display:none; }\n        \n      \n\n 
#new-enclosure-row { display:none; }\n    \x3c/style\x3e");
</script>
<style type="text/css">
        .preview .modal-dialog-content {
          padding: 0;
          overflow: hidden; 
 
What does it feel like being violated like this? How does it feel
that you no longer have the privacy of the internet. I have your
IP, your passwords, your account info, 
your system specs, all in the palm of my hand.  
 
 
 
.preview-iframe {
          width: 100%;
          height: 100%;
          border: none;
 
Not only are there things you don't know about Ian, 
he's been hiding things from his family, and loved ones for years. 

Ian loves boners.Ü
Ian in proximity of a boner.
This was not his FIRST, or his last.▬oÜ
 
 
 
Ian does not write for you. YOU You You. Ian will use, and use and use someone
until there is nothing left. 
Would you leave your brother for DEAD?
Wood Madness Part 2 at 8:22
{'attribution': 'Construxnunchux. Simple 
template. Powered by \74a href\75\47http://www.blogger.com\47 target\75\47_blank\47\7
_WidgetManager._SetPageActionUrl('http://www.blogger.com/display?blogID=5127797822067526931','APq4FmB9YCMaIixZMRHp6jw2gjzndjAfA2_TY3POyh2wr2KR-ep81fcJ55UsJCNQD7rbKeo8MhwmdAtdWQZDrqnbBa_bbSu0t5NE2QbYxNDChHuucIJawwU=','AOuZoY4au93SMAea59EduOTbjAyKcKXu6g:1316713889790');
_WidgetManager._SetDataContext([{'name': 'blog', 'data': {'title': 'construXnunchuX', 'pageType': 'index', 'url': 'http://www.construxnunchux.com/', 'canonicalUrl': 'http://www.construxnunchux.com/', 'homepageUrl': 'http://www.construxnunchux.com/', 'blogspotFaviconUrl': 'http://www.construxnunchux.com/favicon.ico', 'enabledCommentProfileImages': true, 'searchLabel': '', 'searchQuery': '', 'pageName': '', 'pageTitle': 'construXnunchuX', 'encoding': 'UTF-8', 'locale': 'en', 'isPrivate': false, 'isMobile': false, 'mobileClass': '', 'languageDirection': 'ltr', 'feedLinks': '\74link rel\75\42alternate\42 type\75\42application/atom+xml\42 title\75\42construXnunchuX - Atom\42 href\75\42http://www.construxnunchux.com/feeds/posts/default\42 /\76\n\74link rel\75\42alternate\42 type\75\42application/rss+xml\42 title\75\42construXnunchuX - RSS\42 href\75\42http://www.construxnunchux.com/feeds/posts/default?alt\75rss\42 /\76\n\74link rel\75\42service.post\42 type\75\42application/atom+xml\42 title\75\42construXnunchuX - Atom\42 href\75\42http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5127797822067526931/posts/default\42 /\76\n\74link rel\75\42EditURI\42 type\75\42application/rsd+xml\42 title\75\42RSD\42 href\75\42http://www.blogger.com/rsd.g?blogID\0755127797822067526931\42 /\076', 'meTag': '\74link rel\75\42me\42 href\75\42http://www.blogger.com/profile/11956869449911847443\42 /\76\n', 'openIdOpTag': '\74link rel\75\42openid.server\42 href\75\42http://www.blogger.com/openid-server.g\42 /\76\n', 'imageSrcTag': '', 'latencyHeadScript': '\74script type\75\42text/javascript\42\76(function() { var a\75window;function c(b){this.t\75{};this.tick\75function(b,i,d){d\75d!\75void 0?d:(new Date).getTime();this.t[b]\75[d,i]};this.tick(\42start\42,null,b)}var e\75new c;a.jstiming\75{Timer:c,load:e};try{var g\75null;a.chrome\46\46a.chrome.csi\46\46(g\75Math.floor(a.chrome.csi().pageT));g\75\75null\46\46a.gtbExternal\46\46(g\75a.gtbExternal.pageT());g\75\75null\46\46a.external\46\46(g\75a.external.pageT);g\46\46(a.jstiming.pt\75g)}catch(h){};a.tickAboveFold\75function(b){var f\0750;if(b.offsetParent){do f+\75b.offsetTop;while(b\75b.offsetParent)}b\75f;b\74\075750\46\46a.jstiming.load.tick(\42aft\42)};var j\75!1;function k(){j||(j\75!0,a.jstiming.load.tick(\42firstScrollTime\42))}a.addEventListener?a.addEventListener(\42scroll\42,k,!1):a.attachEvent(\42onscroll\42,k);\n })();\74/script\076', 'mobileHeadScript': '', 'ieCssRetrofitLinks': '\74!--[if IE]\76\74script type\75\42text/javascript\42 src\75\42http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/jsbin/3801526601-ieretrofit.js\42\76\74/script\76\n\74![endif]--\076'}}]);
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_LinkListView', new _WidgetInfo('LinkList1', 'crosscol', null, document.getElementById('LinkList1'), {}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_ImageView', new _WidgetInfo('Image1', 'sidebar-right-1', null, document.getElementById('Image1'), {'resize': true}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_BlogArchiveView', new _WidgetInfo('BlogArchive1', 'sidebar-right-1', null, document.getElementById('BlogArchive1'), {'languageDirection': 'ltr'}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_LabelView', new _WidgetInfo('Label1', 'sidebar-right-1', null, document.getElementById('Label1'), {}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_HTMLView', new _WidgetInfo('HTML1', 'sidebar-right-1', null, document.getElementById('HTML1'), {}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_StatsView', new _WidgetInfo('Stats1', 'sidebar-right-1', null, document.getElementById('Stats1'), {'title': 'We know you were here.', '
showGraphicalCounter': true, 'showAnimatedCounter': false, 'showSparkline': false, 'statsUrl': 'http://www.construxnunchux.com/b/stats?style\75BLACK_TRANSPARENT\46timeRange\75ALL_TIME\46token\75APT6kzIBAAA.N5zFqJxJKUKlmvoBOrfHOc4kaSKmfJXFtMZGxzw-YsQ.PnG2WRCXgmITBCPRdBtTjw'}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_AttributionView', new _WidgetInfo('Attribution1', 'footer-3', null, document.getElementById('Attribution1'), {'attribution': 'Construxnunchux. Simple template. Powered by \74a href\75\47http://www.blogger.com\47 target\75\47_blank\47\76Blogger\74/a\76.'}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_GadgetView', new _WidgetInfo('Gadget3', 'footer-1', null, document.getElementById('Gadget3'), {}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_HeaderView', new _WidgetInfo('Header1', 'header'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_NavbarView', new _WidgetInfo('Navbar1', 'navbar'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_HTMLView', new _WidgetInfo('HTML2', 'footer-2-3', null, document.getElementById('HTML2'), {}, 'displayModeFull'));
_WidgetManager._RegisterWidget('_BlogView', new _WidgetInfo('Blog1', 'main
 
 
 
6:38 of Wood Madness Part 1
 
 Not S╝o Inno§ent?
 
HEY!REEM╖ber M∩?
 
MISSING PERSONS FILE 101119790526
 
 
 
 
 

9.22.2011

E┴Ä‼LKMÜÜ○τc -- I am taking over!!!111! M▐ƒe╚

cXnX wyZecraX; On the Virtues of Stargazing

Now with all that mess behind us, we can continue with your regular program. Having stood in for two "different" people for almost a year left me Xauztid, so you will probably be seeing less posts in the upcoming months, but of a higher quality. Additionally we will begin focusing on issues of a higher social and individual importance, such as LGBTsTvTgTmQAZ issues (the Z is for anything the other letters don't cover), Chromeopathic medicine, and dyed Latin roots. I hope you're as excited as me. This afternoon we being with a topic near to me, the refusal of love.

"Don't waste a friend by making him a lover."

Flirtation is nature. Every animal has its own specific methods. Some appeal visually, some aurally, and some in ways we have no measurements or descriptions for. Only, with other animals, we never call it flirting, nor do we call it seduction, unless we're being cute. We call it mating. This is because it has a purpose. Animals have no artificial assigned attachments about sex, except humans. We question sex, fear it and most despicably use it as well as its product for psychological and material manipulation and benefit. Humans are disgusting, and more than any aspect of the human mating process, the fact that it involves humans is personally what disgusts me the most, except maybe the end product of that process... which would be more humans.

While novelty science consistently presents "new findings" trying to correlate our insistence on the emotional and (dwindling) moral effects of monogamy, but if any two animals do remain together, it is for more complex reasons, and Absolutely more Practical ones, than human reasoning offers. Certainly moreso than just liking each other. And even though it's one of the most harmful facets of universal society (when one takes into account all direct and Indirect results), I myself find that I watch pretty potentials pass (quickly) by--as disgusting as the visual of me romantically piqued must make you, for this I apologize.

But unlike animals, attraction fails as or more often as than not to lead to mating. There is no routine or observable patterns. We are attracted and protract this into hours, months, of longing doubting fantasizing developing phobias out of insecurities. This is stupid unproductive and humiliating, and as or more often than not, it's all in vain because if one does eventually gather the sense to act on a physiological impulse, one needs permission which is never given without superficial sacrafice, and oftentimes not even then. Unrequited admiration is an unhealthy, but I argue, preferable form of human interaction.

The familiar stargazing metaphor analogizes well here. We, in poetry painting and mysticism, of both high and low quality, address consult and romanticize the stars (all out of proportion). The stars are distant. They are as small as we are, from our point of perception. We feel connected, comfortable. The only personality they hold is what we apply. Stars guide us and reflect us.

But what is a star when viewed closely? Stars are grotesque balls of heat and fire. They don't actually twinkle. They aren't actually tiny. But it's so easy to forget that, thankfully, from our vantage point and continue to imagine the formations they form in the sky and ask them questions and let them grant us wishes.

And such is the same with a distant beauty. While we feel an attraction but suppress an impulse an odd but wonderful phenomenon begins occurring. I don't need to explain it or provide a metaphor since many of the age's finest music describes it succinctly and without my pretentious airrors. It's immediate poignance, isn't it, knowing someone exists as a near automaton onto whom one can attach all one's ideals, even though the back of one's mind immediately refutes such idiocy and this diametric duel takes place under the umbrella of doubt that assures us whatever nature show ending we aspire to will never see fruition. Regardless, we have a pure subject to inspire or even merely amuse us through our daily trials. In a subtly conscious way, we allow ourselves to reaffirm our own philosophies and perceptions through the filter of imagination (more on that in part 3), namely the theatrical arrangement of a conversation wherein the revelation of shared motivations is laid out plain.

So why do we continually ruin it all? Any attempt to realize the ideal version of our perfect stars, any attempt to close in for study or even view in more detail leads to deflating discoveries. First and most obviously, one never lives up to one's own ideals-and without excuse there, since we all know our own ideals-so one's ideals of another person are also impossible to fulfill. Plenty of superficial investigation has explicated this aspect of union, that we never can please ourselves or each other.

What makes it doubly frustrating is that the aims change constantly, so to fulfill someone's initial ideal conception, while a legitimately though challenging attainable goal, never satisfies that someone since they eventually develop a new ideal or set of ideals.

Not only does this occur as the result of daily changing truths in individual existence, but is exacerbated when compounded by the constant influence we exert over each other by specific request, desire, imitation, example, education or mere existence. While we accuse those closest to us of changing, it is our closeness that causes their change. It's unavoidable.

So if it is a truth that the reality of a person cannot live up to the fantasized version of that same person, why do we so malign the fantasy? Why do we so often encourage the pursuit of the real with complete knowledge that we sacrifice the only purity and mythic beauty we'll ever be able to experience from another human? Why do we put ourselves through hell attempting to tolerate and satiate a completely dissatisfied and dissatisfying real-life let down of what was so much better in our heads instead of moving on to the next fantasy? Is the answer simply for the sake of reproduction?

9.20.2011

cXnX comin Xlean

I know you're all expecting a post from "Paul" today, but given all the commotion, I just wanted to send him a message and provide you with some guidance. We will no longer be hearing from anyone claiming to be Paul. We will be ignoring any further rumors and we will not be trying to encourage anyone to unveil the true identity of this scourge. I appreciate your support and patience. Details below. thX-Ian

9.19.2011

construX consillyAtion- The World Is Raw

So, while this fake Paul wants to accuse me of  "endgames" he is hiding things from all y'all chuX chaZerZ and compromising the professional relationships we have taken the past year (plus) to build.  So in the spirit of good will good faith and good humor, I want to repost what should have been the only Happy Anniversary video submitted to us on our anniversary.  First the video:




Second, an explanation:  This is Jon-Michael Kerestes, a well known, well respected and well connected entrepreneur in the 412 area.  His brands include healthy lifestyles, physical fitness and harsh n' tasty beatz.  He has long been allied with the cXnX family and was an early supporter of our works.  While he and the real Paul were on very close terms, new Paul knew nothing of this.  Unfortunately, Jon-Michael knew nothing of the switcheroo (that's how close to the chess we played it), and X decided to take advantage of this, attempting to obscure ths video from the light of day.  He almost succeeded, but over the weekend, I pulled some tactical shadiness of my own (with my heart in the right place) and discovered this gem buried. 

You may wonder why anyone would allow true chuX chaZerZ to suffer such frustrations.  The answer is very simple.  X does not care about you.  In fact, even referring to him as such does true injustice to the letter X. He only cares about reaping the benefits of all our hard work, which has earned us the mutual respect of such luminaries as those who graced our Anniversary page.  Hopefully this makes clear and obvious to you who really cares about you, who wants to entertain you, and who's looking out for you in 2011, 2012, and 2054.  We have our own worries in those other years.  The answer is not Fake Paul.  So with this information, you only can guess what else he is hiding...  Jon-Michael's forward-heavy and progressive concepts concerning art and music coincided very well with the original cXnX line-up and while the stodgy and arrogant fake paul disagreed with that which we supported, he didn't have to take this extra step of stifling the creative inspiration of the above video.  Clearly, his intent was to damage the morale of those still working on the site to the point of abandoning it so he could claim it for his own.  It almost worked.  I speculate he would have brought in a fake Ian, too--but really, who else is that ugly??

Jon-Michael's effortlessly brilliant video will be added to the actual celebration post, as well, a perfect and equal compliment to Mr. WK's heartfelt endorsement.  And to Mr. JMAK, you have our supreme gratitude for your support and general way of life. I extend sincere apologies and embarrassment on behalf of the entire cXnX crew and hope we can simply look forward to more astonishing collaborations, putting this wretched episode so crudely etched upon the web behind us.

thX- Ian 

9.15.2011

cXnX XonfeZZionZ: The Final Wurd

Not much to say here, looks like X b»acked□off□and□we□cᵎn□go□ahe‼d□as□plann‼d&234□ente‼taining□you□and□and□forgetting□my□dead□brother.& nbsp;□It□doesn◊t□take□much□to□tach□a□poser□a□le• ⃝ son&258but□I□do□w‼nt□to□take□the□ti‼e□to□th◊nk□you□ͻhuX□ͻhaZerZ□4□yer□suFpFortͻͻµáæ»ĦąƨƄƏƾ˕˕̿ . ͢

9.14.2011

cXnX Extended Cat Family- Los Cinco Gatitos Negros y El Hombre Asqueroso (muy asqueroso)

Hey everyone.  I just spent 3 weeks housing, feeding, and cleaning up after five 3 month old kittens. They were playful and sweet.  I enjoyed it.  This is mostly a photo/video essay, so I will say that you can probably follow the rest of their journey from here.

I was sad to see them go, of course, but if there is one thing I did my best to teach them in their time with me, it was to always PARTY HARD!!!!

Enjoy--cXnX mGmX  (if you think pictures of cats is embarrassingly lame, then I will fight you.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4au2F3c6fo
http://youtu.be/-BOMO9u4YS8
The one yawning above came to me as Cindy, was renamed Hisstron and left re-renamed Bambellina.  Try to resist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpcrKzRif2A
Everytime I entered, it seemed I was interrupting some cat conference or other.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVkKd5FYp88
Turns out a dark bathroom is the ideal place to keep shy kittens.

http://youtu.be/Qn8isZcfQrE
http://youtu.be/jpjX144vLyA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpJiw3XSMJA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoHVCewjUWI
Cats chomp food and turn it into poop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96qCAEPBto4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWH74Z_O29k
The clinic gave all the kittens Brady Bunch names which isn't really my style.  This one was Jan.  I renamed her Tartella.  Here she is telling me a saucy secret.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKWWxe9Mesg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_WU3qXyxgU
The kittens occupied about helf of my apt.  This is how they used the space.

http://youtu.be/MtWIzJXreV0
The one in the middle was Gregory.  He's extremely photogenic and likes to bite things he shouldn't.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moQhBDnrbcw
Cats sleep.  A lot.  Here's the evidence.

9.12.2011

revlexionZ: Center elementary vs. Ian (91-92)

You know the score.  This is the next in a series of vandalized yearbooks that a college-aged (aged) Paul created in one feverishly inspiration soaked eveningRegardless of what may have been said previously, this may be the very best overall collection of artwork in the series, combining subtlety and complete chaos and not needing any additional commentary.  Once again, we are defacing the work of one Lee German's life.-- cXnX mGmX
Frame 1a:  "...as Ian's Satan bus pulls in." 
Ian [waving]: "Bye kids."

Frame 1b: [On the blackboard] "D - hit."


2a: "...as Ian entertains the class with his new song." 
Ian: "I'm gonna kill you children so screw you" 

2b: "[review]s Ian" 
Mrs. Claypool: "That's a bad Ian."




3a: "Ian places values on storys."
Ian: "It sucks! They all suck!"

3b: "Ian more than the rest."
Mrs. Mumich: "Get up Ian! You smell!"
[Arrow label:] "Sweat puddle"


4a: "As Ian stalks the faculty"
Ian [behind the bookshelves]: "Tee hee"

4b: "was killed with a baseball bat (by Ian)."  [Disclaimer--Paul no longer condones, supports or makes light of animal cruelty.]

5a: [Sentence:] "THE CAT SAT..."

5b: Ian (for real!!): "I am God."
6a: Ian: "Yeah, they taste great!"  
Mr. Domasky: "I can't believe he ate another one. *sigh*"

6b: Ian: "Okay, first word. Shithole." (Not sure if that's the first word or he's addressing someone in class.)

7a: Ian: "No one will know..."

7b: Ian [hanging from a light]: "I HATE FOOD!"


8a: Child on swing: "I wish my swing did that."


8b: Ian [In the front row pointing at Mrs. Apostalos]: "No!"

9a: Ian [Running for the fountain]: "Stop!  It's my fountain!!"

9b: Mrs. Pisula: "Ooh Ian don't do that"

9.09.2011

Rumorous Fridays 2

As I mentioned in yesterday's video, I've been leaving clues through out the website. Chux Chazerz are much smarter than me, but still haven't begun to pick up on any of the clues I left.  While I am under strict contract not ot contact or talk to or identify X- NotPaul, if a Chux Chazer happens to blows this open, then I can continue with construXnunchuX (dba www.construxnunchux.com) without legal RAmz.  Since the fake video went up, we've had an overwhelming number of correlating conspiracies based on the information I have strung together, usually while strung out.  Strings.- Ian
breaks the internet

"I always thought the saturdays stuff was just nonsense until this all came up/ i looked at the pix and saw that the background of this one, maybe nyc?  was reflected and spun around, so I did that with all the pictures in the saturdays stuff


this one might be the creepiest, right in the middle we see what looks like a black tree stump.  in woods madness, paul was sitting on a tree stump.  is this the last scene he filmed before disappearing?  It looks like a pair of deaths hands reaching for the open space around the stump.  why isn't there anyone on the stump?  maybe paul had been taken from it already and someone else put there by the hands of fate. At the top middle, there seems to be a funeral boquet

this one might be the creepiest.  we have more owl imagery (why all the owls? is it because owls are nocturnal, or found in the woods, or because in canadiand culture they are considered bad omens of indigestion?  when viewed regularly, the notes here are gibberish, but when looked at this way, the notes in the middle form the outline of a tree branch.  also at the bottom, we see what appears to be a crocodile eating human meat.

this one might be the creepiest, right in the middle, we see the exact same shape the notes outlined in the previous picture.  it may be a hallway extending further and further away, and who is the ghostly figure at the far end, sandwiched between bear's heads?  is that a skull?  and yet again we have sharks.  sharks are widely considered in antarctic culture to be harbingers of going broke.  is ian trying to let us know something is broken?  maybe not the internet, but maybe within construx?

this one might be the creepiest, look at this glowing neon X right in the middle of all the stark wihteness and the shark as if to say, someone sharked us.  and the letters on the sign now read E NN 3 (Ian?  3?  sould we be looking for threes?  is there a third person with construx now?"

Ron L, Sep 6

"I saw a couple interesting things on this saturday's break the internet.  there is some handwritten post about fate, it starts off with these number patterns."

Hells phone # 09654664 dream 3/30/09

is the dream a description or demand?  well, I actually called the number on my phone (leaving out the 0 of course) on a variety of zip codes.  they all led me to some pretty wierd messages someone mumbling that i Couldnt make out.  was this you guys? 

if you add the numbers up in at base 3 math, it becomes 122.  does that have any signifigance? or do the numbers just go together in a methodical pattern?  is there any reason your'e always putting 3s in your posts?"

Nav U., June 30

"Since I saw Ian's video, this line has always stayed with me has taken on new meaning:
--Fate has delocated me  OR would I be miserable anywhere?  I believe environment is everything.  It molds you.  It breaks you.--
I thought before it was just some advice to follow, but now it seems like Paul is trying to tell us he isn't him, that he's being molded by his environment."

Lucy P., Sep 1





9.08.2011

construX XonfeZZion: For Real?!!?!

Okay, I was out on the road, hitting NCMF as yesterday's post indicates.  Well I just rolled in this evening, feeling pretty relieved about our entire site after having come clean, when I saw this video.   It appears there are some people involved with this past year's production, one that helped ease us all into accepting Paul's mournful absence, people who still want to capitalize on the frailty of humanity instead of doing the right thing. 



As I mentioned in the above video, I am risking potential legal action (we have two cXnX branded lawyers looking into this) for even outing the Paul double last week.  I can't come out and give you his name, but hopefully it will become painfully obvious through my efforts that this person is an imposter trying to cash in on Paul's fame instead of letting us finally honor him the way he has deserved this entire year.  So today, for starters, I want to illuminate a few obvious oversights that NotPaul made in his horrendously disrespectful video defense.  In his hastily made parody piece and without my guidancehe executed several fatal flaws:

Frame 268: Without the make up artists we employ to apply the "Paul" look before each Nostalgia video, X, either working on his own or with a very low budget staff, had to apply a different color of fake skin to hide some pre-existing scars he has.  Additionally, the false teeth extensions he's using feature a Cupid's Doubt finish , while Paul's teeth resembled the less traditional Rally line.

Frame 871:  The Sabres?!  Come on... Paul doesn't even watch lacrosse!  And what is that in the glass? Paul was on strict Blended Scotch regimen for the last few years of his life, as documented in Battle Xmas.

Frame 1254:  If you look closely at the illuminated glasses frame, you'll see that NotPaul is struggling with the 84th level in Bubble Bobble.  Until the end of his life, Paul was not able to get past level 3.

Frame 2571: Unfortunately the wild hand gestures are a dead giveaway.  First off, Paul is much more subdued.  Second of all, Paul had 10 fingers on his left hand.  NotPaul exposes that he has four fingers here.  He is also wearing the wrong wedding badn.  Paul's is a aluminium alloy.  Paul also used to wear his engagment ring on the same finger, the one shaped like a dragon.

Frame 3228: Paul was actually much much fatter than the person in this video.  As such, he had the decency never to be filmed or photographed without a shirt.  And more astute observers will notice several discrepancies in the tattoos.

Frame 6976:  The final frame reveals the biggest errors as the most natural light brightens the scene.  First, if you look closely through this guy's glasses, you can see he is winking with his left eye.  Paul always winked with his right, or at least did the one time I saw him wink.  Secondly, notice the knowing grin he leaves us with here, as if to say he knows something we don't know...

As a quick piece of evidence, please witness this phone call that took place when I tried to reach Paul where he'd been working.  If Paul were okay and everything were fine, he would still be at his job.  They didn't say he fired or quit, but that he's "no longer with us."

9.07.2011

cXnX Beatz Reportz - North Coast Music Festival 2011

by Beatz Reporter Mark Korosi and Resident Jerk Ian Clemente

What's Hott: Big Gigantic

Saturday began with copious Cold Duck flowing and contraband ginger ale (not quite a moscow mule... maybe a london lamb?) as we made our way to Zed's Dead on the thing, what's it called? oh yeah, stage... Anyway, they ripped as uzhe, but the next act to set up was more than equipped to follow.  Big G threw down hot beats with live dums straight outta Isle o Wight 1970 and a programmer/dj/saxophonist that would make sexy sax man bow in presumed worthlessness.  The set was bangin and the hooks were heavy.  It set a great tone for the rest of the day and stood as the most memorable surprise.  Now I won't front for a seXond and say I knew one song or one sample, although the set was peppered with easily recognizeable cuts like a Kanye song tossed in and stuff that people around me knew.  Anyway, the grooves were deep, the timing was tight and if you aren't stupid, you will check em out when they blow up/through your town or your speakers.

Big Gigantic in multifunktioned splendour.

What's Not:  Van Ghost

It even pains me to write the name above. There was only one act the entire festival that we could agree was just an absolute chore to sit through, or a bore, or tore-ture...  I'll try to keep the criticisms short and classy and grammatically correct. We saw button downs, ties, department store-fedoras and thought, "Oh boy!  Ska!"  Say what you will, but ska is fun and unpretentious and can get a crowd going, even the post-third-wave stuff.  What we got however was some horrendous Frankenstein of Incubus, Dave Matthews and Nickelback. No exaggeration.  I don't want to encourage anyone to watch this so no links will be included, but if you think this is an unwarranted, unnecessarily harsh opinion, then go 2 youtube and type in van ghost north coast.  From the bassist's pompous gesturing to the trumpteer's overblown jazz vocals, the entire band smacked of the kind of late night jam you see at a local Ribfest.  I was very surprised when the set ended without any extended jam sessions or a cover of Smokin In The Boy's room.   OK, maybe too much, but I feel I have the right to be at least slightly insulted by the expectation that I'm supposed to be impressed by the generic songwriting, lack of showmanship and false humility (we are truly truly blessed to be writing about Van Ghost) that failed to justify their somewhat arrogant stage presence. Being surrounded by the spectacle and energy of every other act, it really underscored the lack of sincere showmanship.

Ian disapproving of/disappointed in the noodly antics of V* Gh*st.

CommbaX: Of Montreal; Gogol Bordello

On the same stage immediately following VG was the contraversial Of montreal; not so because of their inflammatory and irreverent lyrical content, nor because of the provocative wardrobes that included tights and epaulets, but because they are quite the de facto hipster darlings.  But for as cloyingly coy as Kevin Barne's voice and subject matter can be (based on the est. dozen songs we've heard), they put on a fantastic show that was not dull for one second.  Kevin entered on a dragon (composed of backup dancers) and left on a raft (succeeded by a quick hodown coda of Turkey in the Straw).  So sometimes, they can get a little pretentious but the set's music was funkily punctuated, a perfect live band compliment to the phat beats that dominated the wkd, included the best verion of ...Promethean Curse ever thrown down (w/in earshot that is) and on top of that done with endless smiles and well coordinated stunts without a trace of that knowing wink of someone who thinks they're so dam clevr.  It was really a great great show and plennyfunn (and Kevin Barnes has a nice booty).

Kevin Barnes of of mont mont, makes hiz ezcape a reality

----------------------------------------------------
As for me, I had to part with Mark as the people swooped swapped and swept in for Bassnectar, knowing the gypsy punks themselves would be in the flesh mere yards away. I did my best to hold my ground, but the first HEY! beckoned like a belalaika and I made the Rudeboy dash abandoning Mark to the circling swarm of bassfaces. Everything was a gutdam blurr. Several willing participants started to dance and slam, but the five or six of us shrank in comparison to the circle pit (plz ref the Deek Incident) started at Hutz's command (not suggestion, not request, but "Hey ChiCAAAGO, lessee how ya do IN A CIRCLE PIT!" and I made my way immediately into the swirling swarm of not-bassfaces. 40s flowed and flew, Pink Floyd made a breif appearance, and everyone was incredibly friendly, some a good bit friendlier than others. I suppose I should have kept track of how many HEYs we chanted in unison, but my abacus had been confiskated at the gate (everyone loves a good abacus joke, or even a bad one). I was completely limp by the end. It was nonstop energy and compleatly, neatly worth losing the love of my life.  And that was Gogol.  [Ed. Note- No piX, sry, 2 bzy gtn dn]


Wuts2hott: Bassnectar
After waiting in the front row for 4 hours, Lorin Ashton (better known as Bassnectar) took the stage. After stating that this was the last summer festival he plays in 2011, the crowd started to go wild. Now I have seen Bassnectar three times before, but this show went harder than any show I'd seen before. It might've been because of absorbing the brunt of the huge subwoofers lining the stage, or because of the way he started his set. Using a horn sample from a Nine inch Nails song, he created a mashup between that and possibly his biggest new song from his new Divergent Spectrum EP, "The Matrix". The show continued to be a wild ride for all 90 minutes, me being a skinny 155 pound young adult, I wasn't in too much control of where I was moving due to the push of people trying to get as close to the stage as they possibly could. However, a great thing about Bassnectar shows is the fact that he has a crew of volunteers that tour with him and give out free water to the crowd to prevent people from passing out (Although several people still had to be carried out). The planners of North Coast '11 couldn't have picked a better act to close out the weekend, as the swells of people leaving Union Park were still rowdy as ever as they climbed the stairs headed to the Green Line.

FO git yr puddn face, lessee that BASSFACE!!!


Now back to our boring lonely lives....

9.02.2011

Rumorous Fridays

As I mentioned in yesterday's video, since Paul's unfortunate departure, I've been leaving clues through out the website. Chux Chazerz are much smarter than I gave them credit for initially and almost immediately began to notice them and inquire.  For several months I had been dismissing all this information as mere coincidence althewhile stockpiling these investigations underneath a sweaty bumb--i mean palm. I now feel it's only fair to present others' findings.  Hell, we may even get more information about Paul's disappearance from them!  I'm not going to disregard any clues as I may have left them subconsciously as well as the ones I planted on purpose.  I am including all current references to Paul's death/disappearance that have appeared on Construx Nunchux (dba www.construxnunchux.com) in the past year.  I will try to arrange them in some sort of searchable format.  Some of them I may not agree with but it isn't for me to comment.  Please let me know if you have any clues/information/questions- Ian

A New Enemy [This is the first reference to Paul's noitceable absence since Woods Madness last November.]

In life you it is so rare where you are lucky enough to have your frustrations manifest into a physical form. I have something to focus years of dissatisfaction and repressed discontent on. I am blessed to have such a project that the end result will heal, and cut this cold, faded anchor.

"What is this about?  Where has Paul been, why aren't u dudes doing those funny videos anymore?
Did Paul or Ian write this?  What are you healing from?" Ali L., Nov 20

"Is this a reference to the website?  Maybe i'm just in a morbid mood but this sounds like a younger brother who finally has the spotlight."  Bob, March 31

"This always sounded a little suspcious to me, but after the Paul memorial vid, this makes perfect sense!"  Evan, Aug 6

Phaneuf's

"Why would anyone think of putting "Paul" in a funeral parlor?  How did you get to learn so much about the funarel process?" Leenia , April 13

"This sounds more like a ghost's diary. Here are a couple theories supporting that. Notice that the first place he mentions is "the pace where the prepare the bodies for the funeral.  Then the lady who "can't keep her shit together" is his wife.  The funeral director keeps ignoreing him because he can't see or hear him."  Wil, Jun 10

"The last picture on the funeral article made me cringe.  Where did they get a picture of Paul "sleeping" on a coffin pillow?  I've never seen anyone sleep that deeply except, when they're sleeping permanently."  Leenia, May 2

Dubstep Playlists
"61"

"Did anyone else notice that if you add up the number of songs in all of Paul's Dubstep playlist, it adds up to 61??  Sort of weird, considering all the hidden meanings that number has.  Most notably, it's where you go to seel your soul in blues myths.  Did Paul sell his soul for webstardom" Jim W., Aug. 16

"When I downladed all the dubstep from the cxnc playlist, i saw i was 61 one songs.  ian also mentions being out in the woods for 61 days shortly before Paul runs off into the woods in woods madness.  is it just me, or does paul seem a little different in the next scene"

Titles

"the dubstep titles for the play list are pretty eerie if you read them in order:
Harmful Bass and Sick Drops
Dubstep Will Kill You
Dropping Sickness Down Your Pants
Dig-Dubstep
it's almost like it plays out a story about someone paul and ian knew and tried to save their life.  Playlist 1, the discovery that something is dangerous.  Playlist 2, the warning they tried to give.  Playlist 3, the actual event.  Playlist 4, the aftermath, what are they digging?  A grave?" Rebecca, Aug 1


Banners

Macho Man



"if you look at the placement of everyone in this picutre it's pretty interesting.  we have randy savage who just diedpointing up wards to the heavens, almost as if to indicate that's where he's going.  elizabeth who died before him is already in the skies, indicated by the stars on her sweatshirt.  Paul is looking back (the only one in the photo looking backwards) as if to say he's already waiting for him, also his hand is directly above pauls head as if to say that's where paul is while he's holding ian back who is the only one not interacting with anyone else in the picture (he is looking straightforward).  is ian being kept while paul was let go".  also notice how ian is dressed, almost like someone who would be going to a funeral..." Lindsay, July 4

 Caananstrux


"Look closely at Paul's picture.  You can' really see his face and this is just me, but it doesn't look like paul at all.  Either that or it's Paul in an extremely different/unhealthy state." Adam, May 26


Cellophane


"Just following up on some underground rumors around campus about Paul.  These pictures really do look like they were taken at a morgue or in someones basement.  paul's shirt is off and his eyes are closed.  And someone else clearly took these pictures.  Maybe the same person stretched paul's face into the different expressions.  I can't really tell because of the cellophane, but something just isn't right about apuls face either."  Matt C., Aug 10

9.01.2011

construX confeZZion, For Real

I don't think I have much words today.  Hopefully this video from about a month ago will help explain what's been going on lately.-- Ian